His Death Awakened Me (BoyxBoy)

Chapter 20: Big Changes

I got out of the car the next morning after I parked it in my parents' driveway. I covered my face in my hands for a moment and just sat there, resting against the steering wheel. My dad had called about an hour ago and asked me to come over as soon as I could. I didn't want to but he insisted.

I calmed my nerves long enough to open the door and walk up to the porch. My dad was sitting on a chair. I stepped back a little, startled.

"Thanks for coming," he said barely above a whisper. His voice sounded hoarse. I noticed his red rimmed eyes. I slowly made my way over to him and sat down carefully in the chair opposite him. He sighed, averting his eyes.

"Dad I'm sorry that I'm-" I began to say, my voice cracking. He held up a hand.

"Don't," he said roughly, bringing his eyes up to my face. He looked at me fiercely. "Don't you dare apologize. Don't. You. Dare." I gulped, not knowing quite what to do or say. He sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly.

"Dad I don't want you to hate me," I said, my voice catching as I quickly looked down at my lap. My resolve was wavering. I came here and steeled myself for what was probably going to come, but that facade was now crumbling too easily. I tried to regain my composure.

"I don't hate you!" He exclaimed, looking at me with wide eyes. "You're my son! My handsome amazing son and I wouldn't trade you for anything!" He said, coming over and pulling me up into a tight hug. "I'm so so sorry for making you think that! I just...I just. I've had a hard time getting used to this is all," he stammered, pulling me back to face him.

Tears streamed down my face, but this time it wasn't because of sadness. They were tears of happiness. I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

"Dad," I sobbed, gripping him tightly. He sighed.

"I'm so sorry kiddo. I've been a complete asshole and a poor excuse for a parent lately. I know how much he means to you," he said calmly.

"You mean, you mean you're not mad about this anymore?" I asked. He looked at me intensely.

"Jake. Oh Jake. There's so many reasons why I've been angry. None of them are because of you. Your mother and I...we've been fighting," he explained, his eyes suddenly downcast. I made an 'oh' face.

"Because of me?" I asked, my eyes watering. He shook me and looked at me reassuringly.

"No. Because of her," he said flatly.

"I'm sorry for leaving. I just couldn't stay," I said weakly. He nodded.

"I understand. I'm just glad you're feeling better. I can see it in your eyes. I'll forever be grateful to Sean," he said.

"Oh god. Dad, I...I thought...I..thank you," I stuttered. He hugged me again.

"How are things over there? Are you enjoying it? I have so many questions," he said eagerly. It made me chuckle slightly in between sniffles and his face lit up when he saw that.

"I love you Jake. You're my boy and you always will be. Nothing could ever change that. You understand me?" He said firmly. I nodded.

"I love you too Dad," I replied. He wrapped me in another hug and we sat on the porch and talked about everything. We talked about Sean and I, how much we missed Collin, if I was going back to work (Dad said he'd help look for something for me.)

"I'm proud of you. So proud." He smiled warmly. I grinned broadly hearing that. He seemed so different now. I was glad to have my dad back. "I know I've handled things wrong. Truth is I didn't know how to handle them, so I got frustrated. I can never apologize enough for that."