Famous Last Words || FRERARD

24

Frank and Gerard. Gerard and Frank. Two lovers bound to each other but bound to one they didn't know why the words tattooed onto their wrists. It was an accepted and casual part of society, once meaning everything but now nearly obsolete. If you met your soulmate, everything was supposed to go right and be perfect. Supposed to. Frank and Gerard had no knowledge of the higher powers as you, the reader do, so to these two, this meant nearly nothing at all. Maybe they weren't soulmates, which would explain why things were going south. Maybe 'going south' was too gentle of a term.

Frank loved Gerard. He knew that. He loved that boy with all his heart, and yet, here he was, hiding in his room with the curtains drawn and his phone under his mattress so he couldn't hear it vibrate every few minutes with the texts Gerard was sending. He knew Gerard had a few days off, and he was avoiding the other at all costs. Why, you may ask? Because Frank was generally afraid. He had seen a fire, a rage, anger in Gerard he'd never seen in another person before. He had just...snapped. Right in front of Frank. He nearly beat that other boy to a pulp without any hesitation. It was equally terrifying and beautiful- and maybe the part of Frank that found that beautiful had come from Gerard rubbing off on him because that wasn't beautiful at all. It was violent and terrible. That boy didn't deserve it in the slightest. Or maybe he did. He had thrown a sandwich at Frank and-

In that moment, it hit Frank just how much he'd been slowly turning into Gerard.

He'd been so dependant on him, that he'd become Gerard. Even now that Frank was avoiding the other at all costs, he felt like he couldn't breathe without Gerard. It was so disorienting and odd, the fact that he needed the other to survive. He needed Gerard's toxicity- And on the subject of Gerard's toxicity, he was very toxic indeed. Frank understood that he had mental issues, and he tried to accommodate those to the best of his ability, but he was just so...bad. Gerard had demons in his head, and Frank knew what that felt like, but he went about handling them all wrong. He hurt himself and others, and maybe that was because of the example his father set, but regardless, that doesn't make it any okay. Frank couldn't use ignorance as an excuse for why Gerard was the way he was. Frank couldn't make excuses for Gerard anymore.

Gee<3: Frankie? I'm sorry if I upset you

Gee<3: Frank?

Gee<3: Did I do something wrong?

Gee<3: Talk to me

Gee<3: Please

Gee<3: Frank I know you're there. Please stop ignoring me

Gee<3: Are you there?

Gee<3: Please, babe

Gee<3: I love you

Gerard growled and shoved his phone back in his pocket. Why wasn't Frank answering him? What did he do wrong? He only beat a kid up! Maybe that was it. But, fuck, this guy deserved it! He was making fun of Frank, and that pissed Gerard the fuck off.

The pavement passed slowly beneath his feet, crunching a bit with each step he took. The cement was old and beaten up, little pebbles rising out of it here and there. It was shitty, and Belleville really ought to repave it. It gave away Gerard's position in a second, specifically now, when he wanted to be unnoticed, unseen. Even in his trench coat, heavy black eyeliner and very un-Jersey-like attire, he wanted to be invisible. He didn't want to exist anymore, to rather fade into the night sky, his coat melting into the atmosphere and his eyes joining the ranks of the stars. But that's not how things work. There is no afterlife, no heaven, no 'joining the stars'. There's a big, black nothing. If you're lucky, your remains decompose and help a tree grow. But that's only if you're really lucky.

Gerard had the feeling he wouldn't be lucky.

Maybe he'd shoot himself, make a stain on his mother's precious carpet and piss his father off. Maybe he'd hang himself in the middle of the school hallway, let some random student find him and have to explain. Eat spaghetti with arsenic sauce. Drink some random chemicals in the school chemistry lab. They all sounded like incredible ways to go, but deaths involving guns would always be his favorite. He'd always had a fascination with guns and knives; Not for purposes of self-harm, but rather as a way to feel safe. Guns could take a life or save one, just like that. With just one click. One. Of course, the safety would have to be off, but that was an easy fix. Like a loaded god complex, you just cock it and pull it. Gerard found himself chuckling, specifically at the word 'cock' being the gay fucker that he is. While he was focusing on that, he looked over to his left, and there was Frank's house in all it's slightly-shabby, regretable glory. The lights were on downstairs and everything seemed normal, except for the fact that Frank's curtains were drawn.

Peculiar.

Gerard felt compelled to go over, to knock on the door and ask to see Frank. No, Frank's mother didn't like Gerard. Maybe he'd climb in through Frank's window and chime in with a "Sorry to come through the window. Dreadful etiquette, I know!" But that'd most definitely spark some conflict or panic. Frank did often tend to panic, and Gerard often tried to accomidate for that, seeing as he had panic attacks as well. And he understood how much that would freak him out. But since when was Gerard being empathetic? Frank had softened him more than he'd ever let anyone else, not even Mikey. Speaking of Mikey, the two hadn't talked in forever. Come to think of it, Gerard hadn't talked to anyone in forever. He'd been becoming withdrawn. It was just a cycle; He was right back to being on his own, on the edge of killing himself or someone else.

He took another look at Frank's house and walked past.