Chasing Happiness (Chase Series #1)

Happiness 6

#chasinghappiness6

I still remember that day when I was still twelve years old. I was with my friends sa park malapit dito sa bahay ko, at nag-uusap para sa lakad namin bukas. Birthday kasi ng kaklase namin na si Sandra at gusto namin syang i-surprise. Nang malaman kasi namin na gusto niya ng surprises, mas nadagdagan ang aming confidence na ipagpatuloy ang napagplanohan.

Matapos namin magplano, pumunta kami sa mall para bumili ng mga gamit. At masayang-masaya akong umuwi sa araw na 'yon.

"Hindi pwede. Twelve years old ka palang Kei. Paano kung may mangyari sayo? Anong gagawin namin? Anong gagawin mo?"

Napayuko ako sa naging sagot ni mama. Hindi daw pwede. Hindi daw ako pwedeng pumunta sa surprise birthday na pinaghandaan namin.

"Keila, we just want you to be safe. Siguro alam mo naman 'yan diba? You're still young. I hope you understand our point." puna ni Dad.

They just want me to be safe. I know.

But the thought that isa ako sa naghirap sa paghahanda para bigyan ng surprise birthday celebration si Sandra, biglang naglaho. I was expecting na magiging successful ang pakulo namin, na magiging masaya kaming lahat.

Doon ko unang naisip na baka, ayaw nilang may kasama ako, or worse, ayaw nilang may kaibigan ako. But I also don't want to jump into conclusions or judge them, so I kept quiet.

"Ano na?"

Hindi ako sumagot kay sa isa sa kambal. Ayaw kong sumagot. Lalo na ngayon na gusto kong sumama pero pakiramdam ko ay hindi pwede, na ayaw nila mama at papa.

"Keila, ako nalang kaya ang..."

Agad akong inangat ang tingin ko kay Kristine. Kahit na hindi pa natapos ang sasabihin niya, alam ko na kung anong gusto niyang ipahiwatig sakin. And I don't like the idea.

"No, no, no way."

Iyong lang yata ang pumasok sa isip ko at iyon lang din ang nasabi ko sa kanila.

I can the disappointment in their eyes. I hate how they look at me right now. The way the twins look at me like they wanted to push myself to ask my parent's permission. They way Kristine and Rylle look like I am the saddest girl in Earth. And when I look at Keith, he make me feel like I'm suffocated.

I'm not suffocated. I'm not.

I'm an emotional person. I cried at every small things, and they even thought that I'm such a crybaby, or I cry for petty things. And I literally want to cry right now.

And I find an escape. Namataan ko kaagad ang aking sundo kaya naisipan ko ng tumayo. Tiningnan silang lahat. I stopped my eyes at the twins as I said these words, "Thank you. It was nice meeting you by the way.", and left.

Tahimik ang bahay ng makauwi na ako. As usual ay wala pa rin sila mama at papa. Looking back at what I did, I suddenly regretted it. My God, Keila! You were so rude! Ni hindi ka man lang nagpaalam ng maayos sa kanilang lahat.

Bakit nga ba ako umalis kanina?

Hindi ko na kaya. My tears were about to fall that time. And up until now, I'm still a crybaby. Tama nga si Keith, I'm such a baby.

I wanted to say sorry, pero hindi ko alam kung paano. Ang hirap, kasi hindi ko naman sila close tapos naging ganoon ang trato ko sa kanila.

Yes, I may don't have friends but I still know how to respect other people. And what I did was not respect.

Paano kung totoo sila? Paano kung bulag lang talaga ako sa katotohanan? What if, they wanted me to socialize others? What if, they were just waiting for me to give in and ask permission to my parents? What if... my parents are not actually what I thought?