Just For Now (A Calum Hood FanFic)

Afraid

Calum's POV

"Do you know any songs?"

I glance at her in between every chord.

"Only a few, I'm still learning."

Her eyes flicker between my face and the space behind me. Her lips curve into a small smile and she turns her head to face the rows of empty seats.

The single spotlight casted a warmness to my body, chasing away the cold air coming from the vents above.

"YouTube makes it easier than it seems," she chuckles.

She unfolds her legs and lays down quietly. Her hands gently placed on her stomach, playing with the soft cotton fabric of her shirt.

"I don't get how you can play so perfectly," she whispers.

I look over my shoulder, and her head was tilted on the side. Her brown eyes hazed with a sense of comfort and sleep.

"I'm nowhere near perfect," I laugh.

I shift my body around so that I'm facing her. My criss crossed legs gently touched the sides of her arms.

Her eyes crinkle with a smile I couldn't get enough of, "You know what I mean." Her eyelids slowly shut, and her chest falls with a rhythm.

When I got tired of playing, I set the guitar to the side and lay beside her. The music fills the silence, and I feel myself sink into peace.

Somebody hold me stone still

I'm feeling quite ill, feeling quite ill

Oh when will we marry she says

There's bombs in my head, bombs in my head

And flowered grass under my feet

Before summer's defeat, summer's defeat

When all of my plans turn to dust

How do others get up, others get up

The song's unfamiliar to me, but I pick up the lyrics of the chorus and hum along. His voice filled with pain and love. There's barely any instruments that distract his voice, and I could hear every gasp of air he takes.

Oh bring all the pieces alive

And watch how they dance

To inaudible sighs

So sang my mother just listen and sigh

It was all here before you and stays when you die

Danny chuckles beside me and I peek an eye on her, "What?"

Her eyes stay closed and she tries to wipe away the grin on her face, "Nothing," she sings.

Strong hands as small as a coin

A girl then a boy, a girl then a boy

But how will I eat, will I live

I've got more than I give, more than I give

And with terrible fear in my chest

I know I'm the best, I know I'm the best

~~~~~~~~~~

"Inaudible Sighs" ~ Luke Sital-Singh

Danny's POV

His laugh rings throughout the stadium and it echos back to our small world on the stage. I couldn't help but look at the way he was beside me. His head was tilted back and his hair flopped effortlessly on his forehead. His cheeks were adorned with the deep crescents of his dimples.

I liked that he was with me. That we were up at night just talking, the usual for us.

But a small fragment of myself wished he wasn't here. I didn't want to share this private part of myself with someone. I wanted to be selfish and have this safe haven for myself.

But I was glad I wasn't alone again.

That there was someone to share this sense of quiet peace with.

"You win, I can't top that story," Calum wipes the tears from underneath his eyes.

"I told you I have the worst luck! You have to swear to never tell anyone," I nudged his ribs with my elbow.

"I just didn't expect you to tell me you peed yourself" he stifles his remaining laughs.

"While playing kickball," I tease myself.

"As you're running," he replied. His breathing evens out again, and our giggles die down.

"How about... what's one thing you wish you could do?"

"There's so many things..." I scoff.

He watches me with a intense look, and I turn away to face the ceiling.

"Then chose the one you can do, but is afraid to."

"Hmm..."

I take a deep breath and slowly exhale from my nose.

There's so much I'm afraid of. But there's one thing that always seemed so out of reach for me.

I look back at Calum, his eyes searching mine expectantly. Before I could think twice about it, the words have slipped from my lips.

"Fall in love."

The words felt so simple to me. I didn't feel nervous, or embarrassed. My heart didn't feel like it dropped, or that my inner conscious was screaming that I shouldn't have said anything.

In fact, I was relieved.

There was nothing to hide, because I was with Calum.

He blinks gently back at me, staring back at me. His brown eyes reflected what I could only see as a tiny version of myself.

"Me too," he whispers.

His voice was so calm, as if everything we said tonight was normal. And it was. It was us being completely natural. Every late night conversation was honest and raw, something I couldn't share with a lot of people.

Soon enough, I feel everything around me fade away. And it was just us two.