Who I really love (Sora x Riku)

Accident turned perfect

(Sora's POV)

Kairi's head rests upon my shoulder. It's getting late, the stars are already shinning marvelously in the sky, and she is half asleep. I feel a little uncomfortable because I didn't choose to be here. She had so suddenly asked if I'd go on a date with her and I was shocked into silence. I didn't even give her an answer, Selphie, Xion and Namine showed up before I could. She giggled and winked at me whispering "Friday at the island," before striking up conversation with the girls. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that I didn't feel up to it, and there was no way I'd not show up, I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I did that. Kairi is my friend, and I'd do anything to protect her, but lately someone else has been on my mind, someone who would probably never like me back, someone who had scrambled my heart up for the past year - Riku. Riku had protected me and always been there. I knew it was hopeless, Riku saw me as his best friend or his non blood brother, but every time I saw him my heart thudded louder and I just wanted to hug him. I'd only ever felt this way once before, a long time ago before all of our adventures began. Back then it was Kairi, but when I was separated from Riku for all that time and he did all that he could to protect me, how I felt just changed and I just fell for him. The world and everyone in it was calling out for me to be with Kairi. Everyone would be happy then, Riku, Kairi, our friends, the unfair world... Except for me...

"Sora... You okay?" Kairi mutters drowsily, awakening . I realize I must've looked frustrated or upset, that how I was feeling had unintentionally reflected on my face and body language. 

"I'm fine. Are you tired, Kairi? I'll take you home if you want."

"...Okay... Can you stay with me tonight, though?" I once more was silent for too long. "You don't have to, then, but something's up. I'm here for you, Sora."

"I..." I start, but I don't know how to continue. How do you tell your childhood friend who you're on a date with that your mind and heart is liking someone else hopelessly? And that other friend HAS to be Riku, who's our third member of our friendship trio. I felt a little sick. My dumb, dumb heart had to go make things complicated.  "...Nothing's wrong..." I finish, trying but undoubtedly failing to sound convincing. Kairi gives me a skeptical look and I know she isn't fooled.

"Prove it," she demands. I think hard for a moment. How was I supposed to do that? Finally I came up with something. It would mean throwing my hands up and letting the world decide how I feel, but if I didn't, knowing Kairi, she'd eventually get a full confession out of me, which would be bad for everyone, it'd make thing awkward and moreso hurt. So as "proof" I kiss her on the lips, praying it'd convince her. This is my first kiss, but while it wasn't entirely bad, the thoughts, emotions and circumstances were totally wrong and corrupted the moment. Kairi pulled away first.

"That didn't feel right..." she admits. 

"What'd you mean, Kai?" I say with worry.

"Your heart wasn't in it, I can tell. It's... It's him, isn't it...?"

"What're you talkin' about?" I say, but I know it's a lost cause. She sees right through me.

"Riku. You like Riku, don't you? There's practically no one else it could be, or you would've told me a while ago. Your intentions are honorable and true to the classic Sora I know, but being with me won't make you happy, so I couldn't be happy with it either." She puts her hand on my shoulder supportively but I brush it away and stand up.

"So what if I like Riku? It doesn't matter! He'll never ever like me back!" I mutter hoarsely on the cusp of tears. I feel Kairi hug me from behind. 

"Stop trying to be so selfless! Your feelings matter too." She makes me face her and stares with fiery purpose into my eyes.

"But Riku-"