Who I really love (Sora x Riku)

Part 15

(Sora's POV)

The darkness is overwhelming, and shivers wrack my body, sapping my energy quickly. I can hardly see anything, but something in the distance catches my eye. Curious, I start briskly walking towards it, but my walk turns into a run as I feel some sort of urge and pressure from behind. The figure move slowly and soon I am able to catch their arm and they whirl around to face me. His silver hair and handsome greenish blue eyes are unmistakable even in this hazy darkness.

"Riku..." I murmur as my head begins to throb. A smile I've seen a million times starts to form on his face before he stumbles forward, coughing and spluttering, blood seeping down his face. More confused and horrified than ever, I force myself to move forward to catch him but he phases right through my arms. My head feels as if it's going to split in two as I crumble to my knees next to him. I reach out for his hand but a dark mist swarms over him, leaving me in the darkness alone once more.

For an eternity I can't move. I want to scream, shout, anything, but nothing happens. The sound of a distant gunshot rings out and releases me from this paralysis prison and I rise swiftly to my feet. As soon as I'm up my feet take over and I'm forced to move towards the direction of the gunshot.

First I see the gun and I don't want to know what lays further than that, because I know what I will see, but my head turns towards it anyways. The victim and the shooter are one and the same. Riku, again. Hardly recognisable with the blood pouring over his face, but it is him for sure. I feel the intense need to throw up. This isn't right... I... I stopped this, didn't I...?

Dark mist returns, shrouding his lifeless body again. Heat stings my eyes and tears singe my cheeks. I try to tell myself it isn't real, but it feels like it is... What else could it be?

I turn and run, each step enforcing the terrible agony into my skull, but I can't stop. I can't and don't stop until I run into something and fall backwards. I look up to see Riku and an intense sensation of Déjà vu clouds my mind, but something is different. I can almost physically feel what is coming as I force my uncooperative body to turn away. Just as I do, a warm, heavy liquid splashes over me. One glance at my hand shows the terrible dark red of blood. I can't breathe... trying to scream his name I roll over onto my side, beyond disturbed. My eyes are clenched together so tight that it stings, wishing everything away. Each moment that passes feels like a thousand needles breaking open my mind, relentless.

After forever, the pain begins to dull and I open my eyes slowly. My body feels lighter and light returns and my throat feels hoarse from screaming. I sit up, and wonder if I died, but the ruffling of unfamiliar sheets and cool breeze suggests otherwise.

I blink a few times, adjusting to the light and attempting to put the pieces together about where I am. I throw my legs off the bed, and as my feet graze the floor the memory of the dream struck me like lightning and I fall off on to my knees. A dream...? I take a deep breath. That's what seems most rational. Riku... Riku was okay... The last thing I can remember beyond the dream is the police taking him away, then... I can't remember...

The room is cold and smells of sanitiser. There's one bed in the middle of the room and a few cupboards and trolleys to the side with medical equipment on it. A hospital, most likely. Then that means... Mum! She's somewhere here!

Barefoot, I run to the door and it's thankfully unlocked. I proceed down the hallway with haste, hopeful she's awake and alright, but I soon enough stagger, realising I have no idea where I'm going. No signs, no people, just eerie beeps and a chilling wind. I stumble backwards, almost hyperventilating, afraid this is just another segment of the same dream, that Riku would just appear to die before my eyes again and again.

No, that's not right... I've realised that that was a dream, so this has to be reality. Riku is okay. I'm okay. I pick myself up and continue, slower this time, holding onto the wall beside me. It's so dark... and cold...

What would Riku say? He'd face this fearlessly. He'd grab my hand and pull me along with him. I imagine him there beside me. I suddenly feel a lot stronger. He's my light and my unlimited power, and our hearts are more than just connected.

I keep walking and walking. It goes on endlessly. Finally I come to an intersection, but have no idea which way to turn.

"Young man?" someone calls out from across the hallway, startling me. The person, a nurse, approaches me hastily, and I can tell by her voice she's concerned. "What're you doing out here?"

"My mum... Is she okay?" I force myself to say. My voice still hurts from yelling and breathing is still difficult.

"Hmmm...? Oh, you're that boy from earlier. She's stable. I don't know if she's awake but I'm headed that way now, if you must see her."

I nod and trail along behind her. We pass door after door, but it all blurs together. She's stable. Riku's alive. I repeat those facts in my head over and over again. It numbs the cold and anxiety. After a while, the lady stops abruptly and I nearly run into her.

"She's in there, take as long as you need."

"Thanks," I murmur. I take the icy cold door knob and my shaky hand barely has enough strength to open it. Inside, my mother sits propped up on a pillow and awake. Overflowing with emotion, I rush to her side, almost tripping over my own feet.

"Mum! You're... Riku... But you...!" I babble, my thoughts hectic and overwhelmed. She smiles her warm smile... A smile I once doubted I'd ever see again.

"Hey, honey," She greets in a quiet voice, still exhausted. I can hardly believe it's her... I can't hold back the tears anymore as I hold her hand tightly. With her other hand she strokes my hair, and her every touch was another spark of relief and joy. I end up melting into a sobbing pile beside her, holding on to her hand for dear life.

We talk long in to the hours of the night, and I tell her everything that's happened. By the time I finish, I'm extremely tired and only the pang of worry and fear that hits me keeps me anxious enough to stay awake.

"Mum... Riku has always had my back and does everything for me. I feel as if... as if everything that happened to him was because of me... I don't care if he hates me for it, or if you won't let me, but I can't just sit by and let him go..." I sob and I shake as I recall my dream and all the pain Riku has been through.

"I know, sweetie," she says softly while she strokes my hair, calming me down.

"Can I stay with you tonight?"

She nods with a warm and motherly smile and I curl up in a ball next to her, just like I did every night when I was little. Without Riku, I'd never have been able to have this moment, feel her warmth and see smile again.

I don't want him to hurt anymore, I just want him by my side forever. Wait for me, Riku. Then you can promise me properly that you'll hold me tight forever.