Undone, Undress (Larry Stylinson)

forty-two

"That was so fucking cool," Harry says, for about the thirtieth time today.

Louis nods in agreement and takes another bite of his peanut butter and jelly sandwich. He isn't about to squash Harry's excitement, and besides, Louis can't stop smiling either. Aside from the disaster last night, things have been going pretty well. Louis can't complain, especially not when Harry wipes a bit of jelly from the corner of Louis' mouth with his thumb, and presses it past Louis' lips until he licks it off, giggling.

At the Mammoth Cave sign, they ask a passing group of teenage girls to take their picture, as per Harry's idea. One of the girls obliges and takes a couple, saying it's important to get multiple angles. Despite the fact that Louis is freezing his ass off and shivering like it's nobody's business, the pictures actually do turn out pretty great. While Harry drives, Louis steals his phone and sends them to himself.

There next stop is Elmhurst, Illinois—Harry's hometown. Louis can tell he isn't excited about it all. Louis is kind of worried too, because he has no idea what to expect, no idea what Harry's planning on doing there.

Still, they have a six hour drive before either of them have to face anything, and Louis is definitely going to take advantage of that.

They listen to Adele's entire discography while driving North, if only for the fact that it's fun as hell to sing along to her music. It's fun to listen to Harry sing too, especially when he has a smile on his face. They have a lot of fun being silly and stupid, and it's nice.

Two hours in, Louis has to pee again, so they park at a rest stop and go pee together. Afterwards, they get drawn in by the sight of the vending machines and end up purchasing too many unhealthy snacks. Louis wants to switch drivers but Harry won't let him so he ends up in the passenger's seat again, navigating even though Harry really only needs the GPS on his phone.

Three hours in, Louis turns the music down and decides to just get it over with. The questions have been gnawing away at him for a while now, and as much as he hates to ruin the carefree mood, he has to ask.

"Hey, kiddo," Louis begins, and then he cringes a little because Harry's right, it might be a little weird that he calls him that especially after last night.

"Yeah?" Harry responds, smile still on his face. Louis feels bad that he's probably about to wipe it off.

He has to ask though. "What are we gonna do in Elmhurst? And how long are we going to be here?"

As expected, he looks hesitant to answer. "A few days. Three, maybe."

"Oh, okay. Are we seeing anyone?"

"We're going to a funeral, so presumably everybody." Harry laughs but it sounds hollow. "God knows even the worst people will still go to Church to prove they're devout."

"Whose funeral, Harry?" Louis asks softly.

His eyes are unwavering on the road, grip tight on the steering wheel. Snowflakes fall around them and make the roads slippery but Harry is a great driver and Louis doesn't doubt him. "My grandmother's," he says finally, into the silence of the tires on the road.

"Were you close with her?"

Harry laughs that bitter laugh again. Louis doesn't like it and he wants to reach over and hold his hand but it looks like they're cemented onto the steering wheel and not going to move anytime soon, no matter what Louis wants. "No. Maybe. As close as I could be to my adoptive grandmother who thought I'll go to hell because I like boys."

"I'm sorry," Louis says quietly. There's an ugly silence. "You know that's not real, that God would hate you just because you like boys."

"I know. Thank you." Harry sighs and releases his grip from the wheel, setting his hand onto Louis' open palm which is resting in the distance between them. He entangles their fingers, big paw engulfing Louis' in size and warmth. "I'm comfortable with who I am but it's just annoying. She always sided with my dad on everything, and he was wrong in so many ways... It didn't matter, I was just a kid and no adult would ever listen to me. But I loved her, obviously, because I had to. Because she's family. And some awful shit might've happened but we still had some good times, so I miss her. I know she loved me, deep down. That can't be said for everyone in my family, so it's important."

Louis nods along, unsure if he should ask question or express sorrow or just let Harry spill what he wants to spill and move on. In the end, he plays it safe and asks, "When are the ceremonies?"

"The wake is tomorrow evening and mass is the next morning, followed by the burial."

"Okay. Are you going to speak with your family?"

Harry smiles a little, squeezing Louis' hand. "I'm gonna try not to."

"Are we going to anyone's house for anything? Like a reception or something?"

"Lots of questions, you're very curious."

"I need to know what to expect," Louis defends. You never tell me anything, he doesn't say.

"I'm sure my parents will invite us to their house after the burial but I would really, really, really rather not go to that."

"Okay. And are they going to react poorly to me being there?"

"Probably, but they'll try to hide it for the sake of appearances. I'm tempted to tell them you're my boyfriend just to piss them off."

Louis laughs, rolling his eyes. "Yeah let's not do that..."

"Kidding. The story is that we're just roommates."

"Isn't that what we are?"

"Right."

Louis opens his mouth to respond but decides against it.

"What?"

"Nevermind."

"Is everyone homophobic or just your grandparents?"

"Everyone, pretty much. They're not the best people."

"I get it. Alright. So are we staying in a hotel because they didn't offer to let you stay with them or because you don't want to?"

"Both. Definitely both."

"Cool, I respect that. We can be gay in peace."

That comment cracks a smile and laugh out of Harry, so Louis deems it worth it. Definitely worth it.