Undone, Undress (Larry Stylinson)

thirty-four

Harry apologizes in the morning, saying it isn't any excuse but he was drunk and desperate and really needed someone, or something. And yeah, Louis gets it, but that doesn't make it any better. Still, he accepts the apology because he really has to study and he can't be constantly focusing on his roommate's insanity all the time.

In fact, it's the first time he wishes he had said no when Liam asked if Harry could live with him for a while.

"Are you going home for break?"

"Huh?"

Louis is lying on the floor, surrounded by papers and textbooks, his mind bogged down by chemical engineering. The good thing is that he's never felt more prepared for his exams; the bad thing is that isn't saying much.

"Are you going home," Harry repeats, "after exams?"

"Oh. Uh, no." He doesn't have the money for a plane ticket back to Doncaster. Looking up at Harry, who is sitting curled up on the couch with his knees to his chest, bare feet on the edge with toenails painted bubblegum pink, Louis meets his tired green eyes and asks, "Are you?"

Harry suddenly looks startled, as if he hadn't expected Louis to turn the question on him. "Um. No, I'm not."

Louis nods, smiling gently at him in solidarity. His stomach is still churning from the night before, every nerve in his body on edge, but he's trying to move past it. "Cool, cool. Do you celebrate Christmas?"

"Yeah."

"Well, if you're free for the holiday you're welcome to join me. I'm thinking holiday movies, gingerbread cookies, and takeout."

Harry smiles slightly too, and it feels like an accomplishment, making Louis' stomach flutter. "That sounds lovely. But I was thinking of going on a roadtrip, actually."

"Oh, cool. Where're you going?"

"Not sure yet," Harry muses, tapping his nails on his sketchpad. "Through the Midwest, probably."

"Illinois?"

He pinches his bottom lip between his fingers like he does when he's nervous or contemplative. "I'd like to avoid it."

Louis doesn't ask why he'd rather avoid his home state. In fact, he can already presume the answer. "Are you going alone?"

"Yeah."

"Do you have a car?"

"Gonna rent one."

Louis hums, considering for a moment. Is it a good idea? He decides to go for it. "You know, I have a car, if you wanna use it."

"Oh. Um. That's really... That's really nice of you."

They sit in silence for a long, long while. Louis' gaze drifts away from Harry and back to his notes. He gets lost in chemistry for a little while, running through problem sets and their solutions. Harry still hasn't resumed sketching.

He taps his fingers on the paper again, and the sound sends prickles of strange pleasure down Louis' spine. He looks up at Harry to catch him already staring. "What?"

"You could... You could come with me, if you want."

Louis' mind blanches. "Wait, really?"

Harry blushes and looks away. "Sorry, of course you wouldn't want- I shouldn't have even asked."

"Wait, Harry, no. That sounds like it could be really fun. Would you really want me to tag along?"

"I mean, yeah, if you want to."

It's momentous, in a way, to have his shy, guarded roommate asking Louis to accompany him on his end-of-semester road trip, and it's honestly something he never expected. Unprepared to answer, and having none off the top of his head, Louis fumbles for a response. It isn't like him to be low on words but it seems with Harry it's more common for his mind to turn devastatingly blank, even at the simplest request.

This isn't a request, but rather an invitation, and it holds a certain complexity to it that turns Louis uneasy because he isn't sure how to respond. He tries to imagine spending days in the car with Harry, driving for hours. It seems like he doesn't even really have a destination in mind, just traveling for the sake of exploration or maybe just getting away. What would they even do together? Listen to the radio? Talk? About what?

It seems unlikely. But Louis likes Harry a lot. Too much, sometimes.

Additionally, it's not just that Louis likes Harry and enjoys his company—it's that he feels protective of his roommate in an idiosyncratic manner which has been cultivated by nights of cuddling him on the couch and calming him after nightmares.

And even still... it's more than just liking him and it's more than the strangely primal protectiveness which guides his actions around Harry. It's the fact that no matter how damaged he may be, Harry is just a generally good person, like a beacon of light in a dull world. Louis likes good people. Louis wants to spend time with good people.

"Well," Louis answers, pausing to swallow and consider his words. "If you're really okay with me tagging along, I'd love to come. I love road trips."

Road trips are fun, but a road trip without a set destination feels like another level of interesting. It's probably not the best idea but then again Louis thinks of having all this time to spend with Harry, alone with no distractions. He thinks of all the time they'll have to speak, all the time he'll have to coax Harry into talking, to crack him open and spill his secrets.

Louis never considered himself to have a savior complex, but it seems pretty likely when he realizes he wants to help Harry, wants to save him. And what better way to do that then to spend as much time with him as possible?

Okay, so he'll be the first to admit it's a little ridiculous. It may be an ulterior motive to saying yes to Harry's invitation, but it's with good intentions. He's just worried. He just wants to keep him safe.