Undone, Undress (Larry Stylinson)

twenty-three

He wakes up to Harry's screaming.

It isn't out of the ordinary, but it's still frightening enough to make his heart pound heavily in his chest, thrumming against his ribcage like it's trying to burst out. He feels sick almost immediately, but jumps into action without hesitation. After weeks of this same situation, he knows what to do.

Louis gathers Harry in his arms, careful to give him room to breathe so he doesn't feel trapped. Clifford is standing beside the couch, anxiously wagging his tail and wondering what's going on. Obviously all the screaming and thrashing is setting him on edge.

"You're okay, you're okay," Louis soothes, rocking Harry back and forth gently. "It was just a nightmare. Just a bad dream. You're okay."

It takes a while until he stops screaming and bursts into wild, uncontained tears instead. Louis holds him tighter and strokes his back, feeling sick with the weight of all his grief. It's physically painful to see Harry so upset like this.

"That's it, that's it, get it all out. Shh."

"I'm sorry," Harry whimpers eventually, once he has calmed down enough to form words. His fingers are twisted in the fabric of Louis' shirt as he clutches tightly and sobs into his neck, wetting Louis' skin with warm tears. It's more of the same; Louis is so used to this it's frightening.

"Stop apologizing, you're fine. Let's get you to bed, yeah?"

Harry only cries in response so Louis takes it upon himself to heave him up and guide him to his bedroom, herding him towards the mattress on the floor.

"We should get you a real bed," he muses absentmindedly, mostly to himself, as he rearranges Harry's limbs and pulls the sheet up to cover him, tucking him in. Harry stares up at him with wide eyes glistening with tears, his skin blotchy and red from all the crying. He looks so innocent like this, and for the millionth time Louis wonders how anyone could ever hurt him.

He hurts me. Daddy hurts me.

Louis sighs, running his fingers through Harry's tangled curls before getting up to leave. What he doesn't expect is Harry reaching out to grasp his wrist tightly, holding him there.

"What is it?"

"Stay. Please. I don't want to be alone."

Something twinges in his heart at Harry's words, pulling on his heartstrings. "Alright..." Louis obliges, settling down awkwardly beside Harry on the bed but sitting upright. He feels kind of uneasy like this but decides just to go for it, pulling Harry partly on his lap and stroking his hair again. "Would you like to tell me about your dream?"

"It was the same," Harry sighs, but it can't hide the way he shivers, trembling enough that his hands shake noticeably. "Fire, smoke, burning... Screaming and no one hearing."

"Is it like something that happened in real life?"

"Kind of. The, um. The burning is the same."

Harry's answer is ambiguous and confusing and Louis is hopelessly lost. They sit in silence for a while but it doesn't feel right. Last night Louis had been reading about how to deal with nightmares but all of them were targeted towards parents and their children. One of the suggestions was to listen to the child tell his dream and to never discount it or brush it aside. And god, Louis is trying ...

So time passes and Louis doesn't realize he's doing this, but to break the silence he begins humming distraightly. As a musical person it comes easy to him, even though he hasn't sang in months and hasn't touched his guitar in even more than that. It makes him sad to think about how he gave up singing after he lost his job playing on odd nights at the bar to a small but attentive audience, all because of the stupid goddamn pictures.

He doesn't notice he's humming, but Harry does, and he sits up a little to inquire about it. "What's that?"

"Huh? Oh." His hands still in Harry's hair as he ponders. "It's a lullaby my mum used to sing to me."

"Oh. It sounds really nice."

Louis' fingers fiddle with his curls again, softly combing through the tangled sections. He spots the bunny stuffed animal half covered by blankets and pulls it out, handing it to Harry who pulls it to his chest, snuggling his face in the soft material. "Would you like me to sing it to you? Would that help you fall asleep?"

He nods slowly, clutching the stuffed animal tighter and cuddling into the blankets like a child.

So Louis takes a deep breath and begins singing because there isn't anything else to do. "Hush now my baby, hush now my love, the angels are watching from heaven above. They know that I love you, they know that it's true. I'll stay here beside you whatever you do. When I wake beside you, I feel like I shine, I wish you forever and ever be mine. A new day tomorrow when you open your eyes, let the sunshine in and all darkness dies..."

He sings it over and over again until Harry falls asleep just like that, curled up and squeezing a pink stuffed bunny to his chest. Louis resituates him, tucking the blankets up to his chin, and then kisses him on the forehead because it feels right. "Good night, H," he sighs, even though Harry can't hear him since he's essentially dead to the world.

Louis considers staying with him in case he has any more nightmares but decides against it, shuffling to his own bedroom and collapsing on top of the quilt in exhaustion, falling asleep without further ado.