Aubrey, the Star

01: black hole

Aubrey

★

black hole - "a place in space where matter and light cannot escape if they fall in"

I hated this thing called life.

My mother always told me that I had to take life in stride and roll with the punches. Except, she never really explained just how hard life really hit you. I liked to think that I could throw a good left hook, but don't underestimate life, okay? The bitch definitely has hands.

I say that to say this - one minute my mom and I are sharing a slice of apple pie in our usual booth at our favorite local diner because she had the spare change that week, then the next thing I know I'm throwing dirt on her coffin.

No one can prepare you for death.

We all know it's going to happen to us one day, but you can't prepare for the unexpected. My mom was all I had and when it came to family - she was the only person I'd ever known. So, color me ridiculous when I was introduced to my father for the first time in my life and was told I had to live with him.

That's how hard life hit me.

The social worker that was assigned to my case when my mom died guided me across the cemetery. I still had tears falling down my face and I'm pretty sure I resembled a racoon thanks to the smudged drugstore eyeliner. I didn't know where she was leading me. She only told me that there was someone I needed to meet and I was too emotionally drained to question it.

When I came up on an expensive sports truck parked along a winding curve in the cemetery, I looked at the wrinkled face of the social worker.

"Ms. Barnes, what's going on," I asked, looking back and forth between her and the truck. The truck was so clean, I could see my reflection perfectly and I looked as broke as I felt. She said nothing, which only began to infuriate me. Instead, Ms. Barnes waved her hand at the truck, urging someone to come out.

A man opened the door and slowly got out of the truck. When his expensive loafers hit the pavement, I was able to fully take him in. He was a tall, stocky man with barely any muscle definition. The only cool thing about him seemed to be the almost-mohawk he sported with brown hair buzzed along the side and left longer at the top - or maybe he was going bald in an odd way?

The shocker came when he looked at me and my eyes locked on his face - only because it looked so similar to my own.

"Aubrey, meet your father, Charles Alexander," Ms. Barnes said. She had a soft smile on her face as I looked at her.

When I say I looked at her, I really looked at her. Almost as if my eyes would be able to make her boil over and explode or just burst out laughing.

My father? I didn't have a father. My mom never spoke of my father in any sort of way while I grew up. I was convinced I came from God himself because that's how obsolete father was in my life.

Charles' face froze before me. His mouth was slightly turned down, his eyebrows curved downward too; he looked like he was ready to cry. For what? I had no idea. It couldn't have been for my mom. No way in hell.

"I...I don't know what to say," I said. His eyes were green, but not just regular green like grass. They were the type of green you would see once the Earth survived life after an unforgiving winter. The churning, passionate green that the ocean turned during a storm.

My eyes had that hint of green; his hint of green. Only after I cried. My mom always said mine resembled the color of the forest after it rained, or they were a color that brought hope and life no matter what happened.