Aubrey, the Star

12: visible light

Aubrey

★

visible light - "the part of the electromagnetic spectrum that we can see with our eyes."

It was raining today.

The diffused grey light of the darkened sky pushed light just far enough into the corners of the house to help me find my way to the window seat in the living room without turning a light on. I sat down on the plush, empty space of the seat and looked out the front window. The rain was hesitant and polite. Very comforting.

Mother Nature did this for me on purpose.

The rain had been falling steadily without letting up before I woke. It was probably what helped me sleep in this Saturday morning. The summer flowers drooped under the weight of the droplets. We've dealt with so much sun and heat lately that I almost forgot what rain did for me.

Something about the rain had me more relaxed than I've been in days and I was in no hurry for the clouds to vanish. Returning the city to the dry heat that was so customary. October will be coming very soon. I could only hope those chilly nights would rush in just as quickly as the heat seemed to.

I pulled the oversized UC Berkeley sweatshirt over my knees, cocooning myself under the worn and ragged fabric. My mom gave me this sweatshirt years ago. She couldn't remember where she had dug it up from, but she told me she had no use for it and it would serve a better purpose with me.

My nose fell against the navy material and I inhaled the familiar scent of my California home. Mom had a candle she would burn endlessly that smelled of cool rain. Maybe that's why I was always so attracted to the rain? It reminded me of my safest place. Whenever I encountered rain, I would think of my mom and home.

Footsteps echoed sharply on the polished wooden floors of the house, sounding extremely loud in my ears. It was like the booming heartbeat of a condemned prisoner. I was trapped here. This house would never be my space place - never in the way that shitty apartment was.

"Aubrey!" Charles exclaimed. He walked into the living room, holding a binder and dressed in a pair of sweatpants and a comic book graphic tee. I'd never seen him so comfortable before. My knees pulled in further to my chest and I wrapped my arms around them. "I wasn't expecting anyone to be up."

I wanted to tell him that I never really got much sleep these day, but Ms. Embry said that was a red flag. If she didn't mention anything to him, then I wasn't going to rat on myself. Why talk more than I have to?

"I went to bed early last night," I said. My chin was resting on the tops of my knees. He nodded his head, taking a seat on the sectional across from me.

Believe it or not, I've lived here for close to a month and I'd never stepped foot in the living room. This room was like a perfect Architectural Digest cover. Honestly, the house was probably featured in the magazine at some point.

The couch was cream. The white curtains were linen, the kind of white that you weren't allowed to ever touch. There's no TV, but a big fireplace that looked to give off a big flame when sparked. There was black and white artistic photography - city landscapes and abstract pieces. The floor was highly polished wood, dark and free of dust.

It was such a contrast from my upbringing. My mom could barely afford furniture, and what she could afford they had been on their last legs - literally. There was a chair that had been missing a leg, but mom had still deemed it useful since it had two other legs. It was hard to think just how rough living in that apartment was compared to the palace I was in now.