Aubrey, the Star

30: dark energy

Jameson

★

dark energy - "a mysterious force that seems to work opposite to that of gravity and makes the universe expand at a faster pace."

"Why do you keep looking around the room?"

Mariah, who's face now flushed as red as her hair, asked me. It was clear she was angry. This was the night for her to shine. That's what she'd been telling me all week leading up to the dance. And my mind was everywhere but on her. As a boyfriend, I knew better. If I played my cards right, this whole game would be over soon. I'd been a fool for way too long.

When I saw her with him in that yellow dress it ate me up.

I could've had my own piece of sunshine. Instead, I chose to dance around with the devil. Harden's hands were moving down, much to Aubrey's discomfort. Her face looked like she'd swallowed something sour. My stomach twisted and I pulled away from Mariah.

She jerked me back, her nails clawing onto my hands like talons.

"Where in the hell do you think you're going?" she asked. Her teeth clenched, but that smile never faltered. She was the queen of putting on a show for whoever watched and wished they could be like us.

"I need something to drink," I said, trying to break away from her.

She pushed herself up against my body like a second skin. Her perfume smothered me. Just like her presence. It took everything in me not to toss her to the side like a ragdoll.

"I'll go with you," she said, smiling. "All that dancing made me thirsty too." Her eyebrow arched, playfully. "Or do you wanna take the long way and stop at the bathroom first."

I shook my head, breathing deep enough to rattle the entire room. "No, Mariah," I said. "I'm actually thirsty. We shouldn't be fooling around at Homecoming anyways."

She recoiled as if I'd stung her. Her face shrunk. "Who are you and what have you done with Jameson Gray?" I rolled my eyes and started scanning the crowd again trying to find her. I needed to see her.

"I'm still me, Mariah," I said, softly. My eyes never tore from the crowd.

She snorted, laughing, before squeezing my hand tight. "No you're not. You never pay attention to a thing I say anymore. When you kiss me, it's like you're not even doing it. And sex? My gosh. When was the last time we had sex?"

Mariah's red mermaid dress flowed around the floor like blood. I'd grabbed her waist, bringing us to a slow dance again. Appeasing her with another dance wouldn't be enough. She'd been right. I was a shitty boyfriend. Mariah had her faults too - more than enough. But I should've ended this. I  was weak.

"I just want you to want me as much as I want you," she said, murmuring so quietly I could barely hear her. I looked at the red-headed temptress wrapped in my arms. For the past few weeks, I tried everything in my power to try, try, and try harder at wanting her. At convincing her that she was all I ever wanted. But I couldn't do that when it was all a lie.

The desire that I wanted to feel for my girlfriend was nonexistent and it would never happen. This was something that I was beginning to realize. But I had to try because she knew everything!

Right now, I wanted to be submerged in a pool. Free of worries. Just me and the water. If only my thoughts could turn to fluid and drain out of me. Maybe then I'd finally have peace. When I was good and empty.