beach//reece bibby

2.4.17

So Reece actually got offered to work in the studio alongside the winners, and it's been three days since that party. I still come to the beach, it's back to how it use to be, me, the sea and an open-mind, I grew accustomed to Reece and I didn't like the empty patch of grass where he would sit. It was lonelier than I remember.

My sketchbook lay upon on my lap, pleading me to paint something, but I had no motivational. In fact the sky was grey, whereas usually it was hold brooding clouds or wisps on sunlight peering through, today it was grey.
I flicked through in hope for some inspiration, my old and worse stuff popping up to say hi. It was until I reached the start of my book that I remembered why I began painting landscapes. Beforehand, it was all portraits. Portraits of people, self-portraits of me in different colours, different styles, and then studies of Zac.
It use to be Zac and I. We'd stroll along the beach, reminisce on school and songs we would hear on the radio that reminded each other of one another. It would be Polaroid pictures taken on his old film camera, daisy chains and skimming rocks on the shoreline. Now it was a grey memory that I had gotten past, but these pages bought it all back. The biro sketches reminded me of his touch, how he got me tongue-tied and turned my stomach to knots. In fact the same feeling I got with Reece.
I looked at the annotations, how I scribbled some out so people wouldn't twig that we were at the brink of a relationship. He wanted it to be a secret, I didn't.

"Hiya," a voice called out, and I slammed my book shut immediately, turning behind me, seeing a figure I didn't expect to see here, ever.

"R-River," I practically choked on my own words. "I can't...what are you doing...you said you couldn't come here again?" I tried to speak, but he shook his head with the words I tried to string together.

"I said I wanted to come here, but wasn't sure if I could." I stood corrected. He sat in Reeces spot, or where he would naturally sit. "It's that time of the year," he spoke, and I nodded. Twenty days and it would be, I wasn't sure if we had anything planned, but I'm sure we could figure something out.

River seemed fascinated with this place, his eyes harboured curiosity and optimism, I knew it would be hard for him but it was nice to see that he was trying to come to terms with it.

"It's peaceful," he exhaled, slumping his shoulders and he stared out into the great open.

"It is," I replied, staring at him some more. He looked happier, more himself than he had been in a while. He wore his striped navy jumper with with green Parker jacket on top, blue jeans and his beloved nikes, speckled with mud and a sole that was slowly peeling away. He was fresh faced with hair gelled back, I just hope he felt this good on the inside. "How are you and Jamie?" I asked, his name hadn't been spoken in a while and I anticipated the worst, but I didn't want that for River, for he was a good guy.

"We're okay," he said whilst nodding his head. "He wants to come and see me again soon, I said whenever works for him. How about you and Reece, what's happening there?" He asked, my head dropping to the floor, a smile brewing in my lips. I was picturing the party and how the two of us just gelled together into one whole being, it was perfect.

"He knows Lara," I remembered, Rivers eyes going wide at the mention of her name.

"Lara?" He almost spat and I knew he didn't want to hear her name spoken again. "How?"

"apparently she was dating one of his mates, but she was at the party with Zac, my Zac." I spoke, but I knew he wasn't my Zac, not anymore, not that he ever was.

"For fuck sake," he huffed, throwing his head to his shoulder. "I fucking hate that girl," he groaned, and I agreed.

"As do I, as do I," I mumbled.

I felt my phone in my back pocket as it vibrated with a message. I pulled it out and Reece's names flashed up on the screen.

'I think I may be in a band, but I'm pretty certain that we've written another song that I cannot wait for you to hear. In fact I want you to come up and hear it x'

I smiled at his message, seeing him fulfil his dreams was a big step for him and I was thankful that he came into my life and that I got to witness this all.

'This is sick! Congrats beach boy, you're going to have to bring your guitar back home so I can hear it. What's your band called? xx'

'Maybe we could be called The Beach Boys it's got a pretty good ring to it! We haven't actually thought of a name, I don't think it's serious. I mean for you to come up to London Shy!! What do you say? X'

'If I wasn't such a paranoid, anxiety riddled person, I'd be up in a heartbeat :( x '

'The song is called Fixed and it's about you,'

'I'll be up in a heartbeat :)'