Diabolik Lovers Oneshots

Laito x Comedian Reader

Okay, I liked this request idea. I'm gonna have fun with this one~

Y/n's P.O.V.

I was repeatedly giggling to myself as I hurried down the hallway. Wait till I tell Laito my next plan. You see, I'm known as the prankster of the house. And Laito was my partner in crime. The two of us came up with all sorts of mischief and pranks for all of the Sakamaki brothers. For the most part, Laito was actually pretty cool to hang out with, except when he decides to be a sadistic pervert. He usual bites me or touches me somewhere to close to my comfort.

But all that aside, all I wanted was to tell Laito my plan. "Laito-kun! Where are you?!" I half whined, swinging my bag around. I yelped as suddenly someone grabbed my wrist and spun me, then dipped me, one hand wrapped around my waist while the other hand kept a hold of my wrist.

"You called, Bitch-chan?" Laito purred. 

"I was looking for you! And I told you to please stop calling me that!" I said. He chuckled and released me. "Not gonna happen, Bitch-chan~" he stated, making me roll my eyes.

"Anyway, I had the best idea for the next prank!" I held out my bag and opened it. He peaked inside, and a wide smirk spread across his face. "Hmm, this should be good~" he murmured. "I'm just not sure who we should prank this time." I said with a small frown. Laito placed a finger on his chin as he looked up, stuck in thought. 

"Hmm. Perhaps Ayato-kun!" he said. "We did him last time though; remember we filled his bath with grape jam. What about Subaru-kun?" I said. 

"Tempting, but we've done him too many times. I feel one more prank and he might snap," Laito said, "We gotta get someone we haven't done yet. Someone who's dangerous~ Someone who would never see it coming." Laito stated. I tilted my head.

"But we've gotten everyone, even the Mukami brothers. The only one we haven't gotten was...." Laito and I both perked up and shared a smirk.

"Reiji-kun!"

Small time skip

I was giggling like mad, watching Reiji from around the corner of the room he was in. He was currently reading a book beside the fire, seeming focused. I was shaking so violently from eagerness that I struggled to hold the cup of tea I had. Laito chuckled and gave my back a firm pat.

"This won't work unless you keep your cool, Bitch-chan." I took a deep breath and nodded, and put on my serious face. We both agreed that I would be the one to deliver the tea since Laito, already having a mischievous reputation that was deeper than my own, would be too suspicious. I put on a smile and entered the room, approaching Reiji. He raised a brow as I came towards him.

"Y/n, what are you doing here?" he asked. 

"Gomen, I didn't mean to disturb you. I just wanted to give you this cup of tea I made." I replied, handing it over to him. He looked to me, then the cup, then back to me.

"You made me tea for no occasion?" he said. "Oh? Do you not want it? Well, if that is the case, I guess I could give it to Kanato-" he narrowed his eyes and immediately took the cup from my hands, careful not to spill it.

"I didn't say I wouldn't take it." he stated. I had to swallow my laughter as I saw him raise the cup to his lips and take a sip. He pulled the cup away, licked his lips for a moment.....then his eyes widened. He gave a small cough as sweat already formed on his forehead. 

"W-What did you put in this tea?" he asked.

"Nothing abnormal...." I murmured. Just some hot sauce. His coughing only continued, and he eventually stood up as his face took the shade of a light pink. "You don't look good. Maybe you should go get something to drink from the kitchen." I said. Reiji didn't respond, but rather speed walked to the door and exited the room. When I could no longer here his footsteps I finally roared in laughter.