Love is Strong, and Mines All Gone

Chapter 1- How?

Chris's Point of View

I took Eddie out to the woods. I wanted us to be as alone as possible.

Eddie had a big smile on his face, as he followed me into the woods. I'd politely move branches out of the way for Eddie, trying to make him happy for this one last time.

I don't think he'll be happy for long though...

My stomach ached, just thinking about how much I was about to hurt Eddie. My lover.

"So what are we doing out here?" Eddie asked, with a big smile as he looked up at me.

We reached an open area in the woods. Trees surrounding us in every direction.

"Ed- ugh, this is so much harder when you're all smiley and happy." I told him, with a concerned look on my face. I scratched the back of my head nervously.

Eddie furrowed his brows- as he grew the same look of 'concern' that I had.

"What are you talking about?" Eddie asked.

I grabbed at Eddie's forearm, as I sat on a fallen tree.

"Eddie, please sit down."

"No, I feel like I'll want to stand for this one. Chris.. what's going on? Youve been acting weird all week." His eyebrows were still knotted together.

"I- Eddie please, sit."

Eddie finally sat on the tree next to me. He tried to grab at my hand, but I pulled it back. I felt fucking sick for my actions, but they were neccessary in a messed up fashion.

"Chris.." He said, as a soft whisper. His blue eyes stared deep into mine.

"Eddie I.. I think that uh-"

"Just spit it out Chris."

I feel like Eddie already knew what was coming. He could sense what words were about to spew out of my mouth. I could tell.

"Eddie, you know I love you right?" I said, as I watched tears form in his eyes. That alone made me want to cry.

All he did was nod his head 'yes'.

"You're the love of my life. Ive loved you all these years-" I chuckled. "I still do but-"

"Chris, just say it." He whispered. A sharp pain filled his tone.

I looked down and shook my head. "Eddie, I think we should break up."

The tears from his eyes fell onto his puffy cheeks. He didnt even bother to wipe them away.

I couldn't help but let a tear escape my eyes too.

I took my thumbs, and ran them over his cheeks- wiping away the tears.

"Please don't cry Ed." I told him, with a sad look on my face.

"W-why do you want this? Why are you breaking up with me? Did I do something? Chris whatever it is I'm sorry. I'm sorry I couldn't fit your needs Chris. I should've been a better boyfriend I-" Before he could finish his sentence, he burst out into tears.

I wrapped my arms around him, as he pushed his face into my chest, crying into my tank top.

"Eddie its not that. You're an amazing boyfriend. The best I could ask for." I told him, as i ran my fingers through his frizzy brown hair.

"T-then why?" He asked, still sobbing. His voice quivering.

"B-because my careers taking off and- I'll be touring and I won't get to see you ever. Itll just be very hard on us."

He pulled his face out from my chest.  "W-well make it work."

"Its not that easy Eddie. This is for the best. You'll understand later."

He stood up, and took a step back from me. "S-so-" His face told me he was angry. You could see it in the way he furrowed his brows. "So you're choosing, f-fame over me?"

My facial expression grew sadder. I reached an arm out towards Eddie. "Ed, it's not like that.."

"I-I thought you loved me Chris.."

"I-I do Eddie- I just-"

He cut me off. "You just what? You just don't want to date me when you get all famous? That's why we're breaking up? Looks like the spotlights already made you go stupid."

I knew I had fucked up now. Eddies not known to tell people blunt, harsh words. And I pushed him to do so.

Eddie took his jacket off, and tossed it into my lap; the jacket I gave him the day before we got together, a few years back.

He also ripped off a Dogtag necklace I got him during our two year Anniversary. We had matching ones. 'Eddie and Chris- forever together.' They both read.

"Eddie it's not like that.." I told him.

"It is like that, Chris." Eddie told me, tears bursting out of his eyes. He started to slowly walk backwards, as he whispered, "You don't love me Chris- not like you used to."

"Eddie please!"

"I'll see you around Chris. Alright? If I see your poster up for your band 'Soundgarden', then I'll be sure to come see you. Maybe one day I'll just have to get myself backstage, and we can talk then about how being famous is working out for you."

And with that- he ran off. He fucking ran away from me.

I didn't bother to chase him. The damage was already done. The bees been killed off, and it's never coming back.

Guilt washed over me like a mother fucker. I felt shitty.

Eddie's never coming back.

This was my fault.

All my fault.

He was right, we could've made it work. But my dumbass had the idea that it was impossible to balance fame with relationships.

And now hes gone.

The plan was to leave him- but instead, he left me.

Hot tears ran down my face. I held tightly onto the jacket I gave him. It still smelt like him. It still smelt like precious little Eddie.

It was dark by the time i stopped crying. I was stumbling over sticks, and turning every which way to get out of there, since I couldn't see.

I took the long way home, so I could collect my feelings and thoughts.

I finally reached my door, hoping Eddie would be there, waiting for me on my porch. Waiting for me to come home so I could fix this.

But he wasn't there.

I walked inside, and grabbed my notebook that I often wrote songs in.

In it I wrote:  "I shot my love today would you cry for me? I lost my head again would you lie for me? Close your eyes and bow your head, I need a little sympathy. 'Cause fear is strong and love's for everyone, Who isn't me.."

I threw the notebook on the floor, and laid in my bed; alone.

I turned to my side, and saw some pictures that Eddie took of us with his Polaroid camera. He always carried that thing everywhere. He took so many photos of me.. and us.

I only had four pictures of us. And a fifth one of Eddie by himself. He was laughing in the photo. I remember that day: he let me take a photo of him, using his camera, and I was so fucking confused on how it worked. He was laughing at my stupidity in that photo. We laughed together.

Eddie had way more photos of me and the both of us, then I did.  He must've taken hundreds over the years.

I could only imagine how many photos he was ripping and tearing into shreds right now.

I cuddled up to the jacket that once belonged to Eddie- just thinking, and reminiscing on the day we met. The day I gave him the jacket.