I closed my eyes, hoped I will see darkness. And so darkness I did see, but when I opened them again I saw the color red. The color that represented death. The color that represented blood. When I opened my eyes it was as if I opened them for the sake of staring at my own dead line.
Why did I see death you ask?
Well I saw my lover with another person. My lover who promised me that he'll never leave me. The lover of mine who promised his future with me. I stared at them for hours. Watching how he touched her the way he touched me. Looking at how he opened his mouth, saying the same words he did to me. The girl is wearing a bright red colored fitted dress. So fitted as if it is already her skin. Showing the big curves and bumps on her body. The redness of her dress complemented her red lips and pink-ish cheeks.
I stood there, cannot move even a single inch. Staring at their sweetness, suddenly bitterness came out of my eyes.
Tears. Once again tears.
Once again I'm crying.
When I don't know how to show my mixed emotions of sadness, anger and fear, my eyes starts to let out spring water. Hot tears, like the hot anger that I want to use to destroy them both!
I'm not angry at that slut only, but also at him. I feel so degraded. I feel like I'm not worthy of any love.
Why is he doing this to me? Am I not enough?
I believe I gave all that I can to him. But I guess giving everything will never be enough if the person will not be contented.
Red. A color of WARNING. It once warned me of this love and sensation, yet I didn't mind it and still continued loving. The mistake I made was that I loved the person who have hurt me before. I once again trusted the person who betrayed me.
Why is it that we still love a person over and over again even if they've cheated on us before?
But I guess giving a second chance is enough. We can always forgive and through time we will forget, but not that quick. We all need to rest our hearts and enlighten our minds. Maybe I'll still give him a chance...f
...to live, but not with me.
Red means STOP.
