The Story After the End

Therapy

"So, how have you been?" asks Carrie with a happy, joyful tone, which makes me want to bang my head against the wall. 

"Fine," I simply reply like there is nothing going on as I look around her office. Her office is a beige-brown color, with dark wood trim. There are coloring pictures taped to her walls from all the kids who go here. The Scooby Doo picture stands out to me. I used to love Scooby Doo. There is a puzzle of donuts being put together on the round table by the window. I simply sit at the chairs in front of her big desk and not on her big, brown couch against the wall. 

"Have you made any more friends?" She asks as if the answer is going to be any different from the last time. 

"Besides Becca and Peter, nope," I say a little bitterly. 

"Okay then," she says and I can feel her mood shift a little into one of disappointment but trying to stay positive, "have you told Peter yet?" she asks ruining what was left of my decent mood. 

"No," I mutter to her trying not to sound angry. 

"Why are you afraid to tell him?" Carrie asks.

"I don't want anything to change," I answer her question feeling my anger turn to sadness and sorrow. 

"How do you know things will change if you tell him?" she pushes for an answer.

"Things always do when people find out," I say sadly remembering the last time somebody found out.

"Nothing changed with Becca," she pointed out.

I think about it for a minute and say "That's because she's known me for as long as she's known about it. We met during in-patient at the hospital."

"Right," says Carrie as if she had forgotten even though it is written down in her little grey notebook. 

"I mean if I tell Peter, he could freak, he could start to baby me, or he could even just drop me like I'm nothing," I tell her.

"Do you trust Peter?" asks Carrie

"I...I...I don't know," I answer truthfully.

"Does Peter trust you?" Carrie asks.

"I'd like to believe he does, so yeah," I say a little nervously about broaching the subject of trust.

"So tell me how do you think he would feel about you not telling him?" Carrie asks me making me think about him. 

"I...I don't know, upset I guess," I minimally respond

"How about you think about it an we will discuss it next week," Carrie suggests. 

I look to the clock on the South wall to find that fifty minutes had already passed.

"Just one last thing, Alexis," Carrie says, stopping me from leaving, "It's not as much of a secret you would like to believe, you missed almost a year of school, he knows something had to have happened.