The Story After the End

Slowly

I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once. - John Green

Peter and I had grown exceptionally close since I told him about my diagnosis. He's started coming over more, and we've been texting way more than what I was used to. I've never felt this way towards someone, not even Micah, whom I believed I was in love with.

"So you finally told him the truth huh?" Becca asks after school a few days later.

"Um...mostly," I told her.

"What do you mean 'mostly?'" Becca asks almost accusingly. 

"I left out some of the gruesome details about some of the things I did," I say sadly, "I'm just not ready to tell him all of that yet."

"It's okay. Take all the time you need," Becca tells me while she comforts me as I looked down at the scars on my body. 

...

"Peter!" I yell as I feel him pick me up and spin me around.

"Yeeees," he draws out. 

"You are so silly, you diphead," I say to him.

"You wound me," Peter jokes.

We continue to laugh as we make our way into the school building. As we head to our first hour class, I hear some kids laughing. I look up to see my old friends pointing at Becca and laughing. 

I try to talk to her but she walks the opposite way, so I couldn't get to her. 

"What just happened?" Peter asks puzzled by the events.

"I don't know," I reply to him, "I'll try talking to her later."

"Okay, but back to the subject at hand," he says as I look at him like he's a little crazy, "we need to discuss the fact that we are holding hands without either of us noticing."

I look down to see our conjoined hand rocking back and forth and I turn the color of a tomato. I try to seperate them quickly, but he doesn't let me go.

"No, I like it," Peter say simply while looking straight ahead and begins walking again.

We enter first period English and immediately get yelled at by Mrs. Peterson, "No PDA," she snaps.

"Actually," Peter replies snarkily, "hand holding is allowed according to the hand book, so unless you would like to take this up with the principal I think I'm gonna hold my girlfriend's hand."

She huffs and sits down at her desk without another word as I ask Peter, "Girlfriend?"

"Um...yeah...I mean if that's okay with you," Peter answers.

"It's very okay," I answer with my usual awkwardness as I adjust my black glasses with my free hand. 

"Good, good," Peter says to no one in particular. 

As we take our seats I catch Micah staring at us over his phone, but as soon as I see him he deflects his gaze. In the end, I just opt to ignore it as it is up to him who he stares at.

...

When Becca didn't show up for lunch I knew something was wrong. Therefore, after school Peter and I went over to her house to try and talk to her. 

We are sitting in her room when I ask her what happened. 

"It first started when I Rachel broke up with me," Becca says. 

Rachel was one of my oldest friends who hadn't completely turned their backs on me, but we weren't really close. 

"I just really want her back," Becca says, "I tried everything, talking, begging, I even wrote her notes."

"Well what did you say in these notes?" I ask. 

She hands me one and I read Rachel, I really want you back. I don't understand what I did to deserve this, but I will do anything to fix this. I don't care what I have to lose. I don't care if I lose Alexis and Peter, I just want you. Please. - Becca

I feel my heart sink as I read the note. To know that my best friend would give me up in a heartbeat really broke my heart.

"Well," Peter starts to say, "if you don't care if you lose me, then congratulations you just did." 

Peter gets up to leave as the tears pour down my face. I'm trying to stay strong but I know I'm failing. 

Peter puts his hand out for me to take, I hesitate for a moment, but in the end I take it, and we leave Becca behind in her room.