Elements of Earth: The Element Trials

Chapter 5b, 2020, Estrellita: A girl's not so independent operation

Meanwhile, the forty percent of her mind assigned to complete her chores had completed with her task. At first occupying Estrellita's body was strange. It felt like something apart from herself. Stirring in bacteria to the waste digester she felt like a third party, slightly removed from this existence. As ordered by Estrellita, she showered to remove the smell. With the warm water running down their body, she felt her connection to Estrellita, to the library, weaken. Only moments after she felt as though it was her body.

It should be my body. And if only for the day I will enjoy it. So instead of returning to the library and surrendering my existence to Estrellita, I went to the kitchen. There's got to be something good to eat here.

"I rarely find you in the kitchen."

I spun around, almost slipping on the cherry oak floors. Stabilizing myself on the counter. I held my hand over a mouth stuffed with crackers. Vivian smiled at me.

"Hungry?"

I tried to say yes, but the only things that came out of my mouth were crumbs. Vivian laughed. It sounded sweet as the sweet smell of morning. That laugh was unique. It couldn't have been prerecorded or the work of algorithms. Estrellita gave me memories of her conversations with Vivian in case I ran into her. But at this moment she, a machine, was never so alive to me. That made me justify my right to exist even more.

"You look like you've never eaten anything before in your life." Vivian's expression dampened for a second before the hologram distorted.

I swallowed the mouthful of crackers, but my words still came out muffled as I asked, "Are you ok?"

Her hologram fluctuated hues before righting itself. "I'm fine, but thanks for asking. Just a minor shift in processes. Well, if you're this hungry, let's have lunch early. Want to help me?"

In the library, I struggle with the newness of my mind. Supple and tender. The boy in the memory. The face of my mental image reddens thinking about him. Even from this deep in my library, I can feel my heart flutter inside my distant body. I try to distract myself with the discovery that my emotions in the library affect my body in the real world. But amidst the thoughts arises a name. "Dak." I gasp. The boy in the memory was Dak. That must have been when he and Kira first met. But I know Dak is dead. Kira and Dak would never have their happily ever after.

A tear strolls down my cheek as a widow would stroll through the park where they'd first met. An ache filled my heart. This was deeper a loss than that of a character in a book I'd read. I imagine too that it's deeper than empathy for a friend who grieves for a loved one. Somehow this was my loss. I did not wipe away the tears. I curled up in my chair, immersing myself in the moment. treasuring the memory of someone I had never met, and would never meet again.

"Have you finished your chores?" Vivian overlapped her hologram with the kitchen's robotic arms, flawlessly matching them as they, she, thinly sliced the Korean short ribs. I was fumbling over the vegetables, trying to cut them, and not myself, into bite-size pieces. The newness of this body... Not new, new, but new to me. Even though I'm focusing on my task, I feel distracted. My heart flutters and I narrowly miss chopping off the tip of my finger. I respond bitterly before I can stop myself. "You know that I have. Isn't the mountain wired with more surveillance than the Svalbard Global Seed Bank?"

Vivian's hologram pulled away from the robotic arms. I could feel her gaze on me, and the robotics she controlled stopped preparing the ribs. "I do not monitor the whole mountain twenty-four seven Estrellita. That would be a waste of my time. And I have never installed monitoring equipment, or even speakers, in your room. Not in your old one either. You are not a prisoner here. This is your home. And even though I never predicted you would come into my life, I want you to know that I cherish you and that I will always respect your privacy."

I stopped cutting the vegetables and looked up into Vivian's eyes. Her hologram mimed the gesture of resting a hand on my shoulder. "Are you crying?" I didn't know, but it matched the sudden aching hole in my chest. I looked back down and resumed my task.

"It's just the onions." The electric kettle whistled. Vivian did not continue prepping the short ribs until I picked up the kettle and poured the boiling water into the waiting pot. It melted the brown sugar, now indistinguishable from the soy sauce. Vivian dropped in the garlic and green onions. She stirred the simmering pot, slowly reducing the sauce. I rinsed the freshly cut short ribs under cold water. All the while certain she could see but hadn't commented on, the uncut onions. When she wasn't looking, I threw them away.

In the library, I imagine a large cup of tea. It appears on the reading table by my chair. The mug is as large as a soup bowl and even though it isn't real, the heat of it in my hands warms me. Green tea with honey and lemon, to energize me so I can move forward with the next memory. I remove my finger from the mug's ceramic ring before kicking my feet out and flinging the mug up over my head. It let out a fragile, final sound when it hit the floor somewhere behind the chair. I need not look to know that the cup, and any liquid inside, had shattered out of existence.

I return to the journal. The second memory of Kira I had experienced was of her attending chemistry classes. she had already developed her trait by then so I'm certain that it happened before the trial I witnessed in the third memory. I planned on viewing the memories in order, but the trial memory was longer. I would probably find more internal memories in it. But the trial was... brutal. My mind is still tender and new. I'm not ready for it yet. So instead I feel for the memory of the chemistry classes and give them a gentle tug. They yawn and rise from slumber, thanking me repeatedly for not eating them.