Elements of Earth: The Element Trials

Synchronous 5: A cold hearth

Declaration of rules with Addendum

"For true success in determining the most excellent element, you all, the elements, must have a thorough understanding and focus on the rules of the trials. And so, leading up to the final three trials, we, the judges, will recite and expand upon them."

Estrellita recognized this area as where the judges addressed the elements. A large auditorium. She had previously heard and memorized the entire list of rules. The important differences between what she saw here before and what she was looking for was in Kira's mind. So she allowed herself to fade into Kira's presence. There she would be better able to hear her thoughts.

Or so she thought. She was feeling Kira's emotions, anger, fear, and loss. But Kira was not actively thinking of anything. Estrellita decided to dive further into Kira's subconscious thoughts. But then the judge's words shattered the silence in Kira's mind.

"Regulation 46 and it's addendum now state that all stratagems, tactics, and levels of force are permissible during a trial, except if such means would endanger judges or equipment judges utilize to observe the trial..."

Estrellita felt two memories ripping their way out of Kira's mind. She knew they were both important. Whether there are other internal memories later won't matter. Estrellita tore herself in three pieces, a forty, forty, ten split. The ten would only be enough to anchor herself in this memory while implanting herself in the others. She cast the fragments of her mind, her personas, into Kira's memories and embraced the white that filled her world.

"What the hell was that about?" I lay the words with false venom. "I've told you before never to show what your feeling or thinking around Salt. He'd sell anything he can figure out about us in a heartbeat." After lashing out at Dak I realize who I am. I am a persona of Estrellita, but I am playing the role of Kira. This memory mustn't be long after Dak stormed out of the intel exchange. Dak is still brooding, continuing to ignore me. "What do you want me to do? I'm not going to apologize. We needed that Intel. Are you listening?" I started poking him. "Did you turn into a statue?"

"I'm not in the mood." His voice was stone, but the edges of his mouth momentarily rose with each poke.

"Your voice says no, but your face is trying to say yes." I said it gently, grazing my fingernails across his skin.

"Okay. You wanna talk?" He growled, finally turning to face me.

"No." I undo the top three buttons of his shirt.

"Well... Well, I do!" His anger was becoming more distracted with each button undone.

"I don't care." I say as I tear open his shirt. His remaining three buttons fall and bounce on the floor.

"You're trying to change the subject."

"I don't care." I whisper it into his ear. He shudders.

"I don't want to do this."

I feel his body jerk against me when I bite his earlobe and breathe hotly into the nape of his neck. "Liar."

"Do you really want to do this? Or are you just trying to distract me?"

The answer to this question is important. This was the thing I loved about him the most. He always asked. Even if I'm tearing off his clothes, he asks. I back away out of reach. "Yes."

"I'm being serious."

I bury my cheek in his chest, feeling the echo of his heart through my jaw. "So am I." With my fingernails, I trace symbols of blessings and luck on his skin. "I'm also trying to distract myself. One of our ten is going to die tonight. I can feel it." I look up at him, trying to hide how much I want it to be me rather than him. "You know it too." His face couldn't deny it. He held the potential loss of each of our ten in his expressions. Because I knew the lines of his face like the bounds of my world, I could distinguish the parts of each expression that belonged to each loss. Drooping eyebrows representing the loss of his allies 4 and 1. The tightness in his throat and down-turned lips for the loss of his friends Marcus and 3, and for me the wide eyes of sadness and horror. Was it simply the loss of a would-be lover or something more? I shake my head. Not in the trials. There can be nothing more here and now. "You can help us distract ourselves, or not. I'm already doing what I want."

There was the distinct feeling of an older sister dragging me, the younger, out of her room and screaming something about respecting privacy and slamming the door shut behind her. Quite suddenly, I was no longer able to see anything. Though blind as I was to past-Kira's actions I still felt her thoughts and words as if they were my own.

I hear a masculine "Oof."

"I've felled a great oak, yet I still want to climb the branches." It was a silly thing to say, but he responded in kind.

"What would you have of me axe bearer? Do you no longer enjoy hiding in my shadow?"

"Winter has come. I need kindling for my fire."

"So I should not hold grudges? Tis nothing personal?"

"Oh, this is very personal, great, and mighty tree." I chuckle. "Is your heat not warming my hearth?"

"I understand why you need warmth. It is not your hearth but your heart that is cold and empty. This is not how I would have wanted you to remember me."

That hurt more than I could admit. I'd always wanted to stand on my own, but I'd fall on my sword for him. He would be a greater loss to our ten. And because I know our time together will be short, I look away. "Do not blame someone for taking what they need."

"Take it then. But when you clean away the ashes and they will stain your hands. You will remember what you have taken, that later, I would have given freely. But that memory will give you no warmth."

"What do you want from me?"

"All I ever wanted is to protect you and for you to remember me." It wasn't a lie. Even when I met this boy before he spoke his eyes told me to remember him.

None of our ten came to the compartment. Somehow they knew, even before Dak and I did, when and where we would be busy. But if I think about it, I can understand. We are like magnets, when we share the same charge, pursuing the same goal, we resist each other, pushing the other away. This resistance builds and builds. Then, one of us blows up and the other flips. Even though the one who blows up is still trying to resist, usually Dak, the other is already putting out waves of attraction. And for a short time, two objects that were never supposed to meet, do. Then it's over. Both of the magnets flip, and if we don't push each other away physically, we do it with our words.

"What did you gain from that?"

"A moment's peace." I rise from the tiny cot, taking the thin wool blanket with me. "That moment is over now." Dak made to speak, but I cut him off. "I need to get ready for the trial commander." And I left without asking permission.