Never Have I Ever

Chapter 10

         After my conversation with Chevon, I realized that I had some MAJOR catching up to do with London. It may sound corny, but London loved some tea and boy did I have a mouth full to spill to her. London was always my confidante and number one supporter in anything I did no matter where we stood in life so when literally anything happens to me, I go straight to her. When I finally made it to London's house, I walked straight to her room after greeting her mom and sat all my stuff down. As I walked in London was on the phone with her boyfriend and I just kind of collapsed on the bed in front of her.

"Oh shit, hey babe.....babe, before you finish the rest of that story let me call you back, Deon just got here and he's need to talk about something. let me call you back a little later?" she said with a swiftness. Once she ended her phone call I had found myself comfortable at the edge of her bed, shoes off, ready to explain everything.

"So bitch, what's so important? what's the tea ? Cause I've been waiting all day for this shit..." she said with enthusiasm.

"You remember Chevon, right ? The one I told you about before ?" I replied.

"Tall? fine and light skin with dreads ?" she fanned her self "bihhh yes I remember his fine ass. What about him ?"

"Well" I hesitated "for starters, he's DL"

London burst out laughing as I finished my sentence.

"Uhm what's so damn funny ?!" I exclaimed rather perplexed.

"Bitch.... I knew he was DL when I saw him, hell ... I thought you knew that when I told you about him." she said while giggling.

"What you mean you knew ?! How did you know ?" I replied swiftly.

"Baby my gaydar is never wrong.... like ever" she quickly snapped back.

And honestly.... as a gay person (or whatever I am) I was very confused on in the hell I missed that. Had I been distracted, or just wasn't paying close enough details to all the simple clues? Either way that wasn't the point of this conversation.

"well yea we had really in dept conversation about things and about he felt about being DL and honestly it made me look at things a bit differently if being real"  I told her.

"How bitch, cause you know you be strong in yo stance against the DL's" she laughed "So what did Mr.Dreadhead say that got you all in your panties and ready to change the world"

Now at this point she's just getting her jokes off.

"Girl fuck you!" I laughed. "I'm for real, he just really broke it down how life has been for him and all he's went through and just .... I don't know it made things really clear for me in a way that you really don't get to often, if that makes sense?"  I said swiftly.

"I mean .... it does make sense, but also think you just like him as well." she side eyed me.

"Damn you think I'm sprung off one conversation?!"  I said amused and confused.

"I mean... I don't think you sprung per say baby, just that he gave you a vibe and you caught it" She stated with a smirk 

     And then I kinda had to sit there for a minute like, damn... did I really get caught up that fast just from him telling part of his life story? And honestly if I did, what would be so wrong with that in all fairness? 

     I mean lets be real, Chevon was a very fine man, like a VERY FINE MAN and also grown with a lot of his own stuff. Like he was a working man, had a his own place and car, and in my point of view what was not to like ? cause the boy I was actually in love with definitely was no longer an option for me and my growth. 

I quickly realized I had zoned out and rejoined the conversation, "I mean maybe I did catch a vibe with him, a small one anyway, is that so wrong though?"

"Not at all in my opinion, cause if I have to hear about Kevin and Allen again I might go play on traffic my damn self. But maybe you should get to know Chevon though, its something new and refreshing and honestly it might be good for you..... I mean clearly he likes you."  she says. 

"Girl you don't know that anymore than I do" I said 

"Aht Aht.... you don't know what I know, but I will tell you this, if he didn't like you, do you really think he would just tell you his business like that ?" she retorted 

and you know maybe she was right,.... maybe he does like me. 

       I left London's house thinking long and hard about our entire conversation and just really sat and pondered on what a new relationship for me would even look like. for the last three years all I've known was Allen and he was my everything and then some so to even think of, let alone imagine, giving another guy a chance to hurt me like that made me cringe a little. I honestly, and truly don't think I could manage that twice. Of course internally, I know that things could possibly be different this time around if I give it a chance, because these are two completely different guys, but then again.... what if it isn't any different? and lets even forget all of that, I am still not even sure if he likes me yet or anything close to it so all of this is still just up in the air until somethings decides to pop off. 

     As I take my clothes off to get ready to go to sleep, I slide into the bed and pull the blankets as far as I can above my shoulder till they are barely grazing the top of my ear. I try to relax my mind a bit but I'm still Kinda wound up from my own thoughts. I don't know why I'm even over thinking any of this before I have even talked to the boy about my feelings but I just can't seem to help myself. 

What if he does like me though?