Dazai Osamu Angst ~Hello, Demon~ Soukoku

Morning, monster

Chuuya broke the kiss, taking a desperate, gasping breath. His face was flushed and his lips were pink from the friction. 

Dazai leaned back, pressing his back against the wall, taking a deep breath. He opened his eyes and looked at Chuuya sadly. 

     "D-Dazai? Are you alright?" Chuuya asked, still taken aback. He had forgotten how good his partner was at kissing. 

Dazai rested his head back, facing the ceiling. 

He started to cry again. 

     "D-Dazai?!" Chuuya reached for his partner's face, cupping his cheek. Dazai turned his face into the ginger's palm, covering Chuuya's hand with his own. 

     "I-I don't know what to do..." Dazai said, his voice was still weak, his wrist still bleeding. He pulled away from Chuuya, hiding his face. "I don't know what to do Chuuya..." 

He looked up at his partner, eyes red and filled with tears. Chuuya hated how dull they looked, how devoid of life and hope they looked. 

     "D-Dazai?" Chuuya said hesitantly. He was so confused. He'd finally gotten his lover back, and now Dazai's eyes were taking on that dangerous quality again. 

Dazai's eyes were full of darkness. 

They only looked like that when Dazai was having those poisonous thoughts. 

When Dazai looked at Chuuya again, the ginger was shocked by the depth of the darkness in his eyes. 

Like a spiraling pool of oil. 

     "I-I can't breathe, Chuuya...." Dazai gasped, eyes wide and fearful. "I can't breathe."

Before Chuuya could react, Dazai had pulled another knife he had concealed from his coat.

Chuuya reached for the knife.

Dazai was faster.

He pressed the blade against his other wrist and ran it down his flesh quickly. 

Blood welled up immediately. 

     "D-Dazai!? What the hell!" Chuuya screamed, panicking and tearing the knife from his partner's grasp. "What the hell is wrong with you!?" He was crying again, big tears rolling down his face. 

     "I-I'm sorry...I can't...I can't...I can't take this anymore..." Dazai was crying, his shoulders shaking. "I can't do this...everyone I care about dies..." 

The brunette's eyes had taken on a manic quality, the darkness deepening. 

    "Like ashes to the wind..." He whispered, eyes distant. "I can't watch you die....I don't want to watch the life e-extinguish from your eyes." 

Chuuya was desperately trying to stop the bleeding, if Yosano didn't get here soon, Dazai would no doubt die. 

Atsushi came back into the church, having heard Chuuya's screams. 

    "D-Dazai?!" The boy ran to his mentor's side. "Dazai!" He kneeled down, ignoring the blood soaking into his pants. "Dazai, please! You can't die here, not like this!" He was crying, big, childish sobs. 

Chuuya grabbed Atsushi by the shoulders, his eyes wide and tear-filled.

     "Did you manage to contact Yosano?!" Atsushi nodded. "How soon can she get here?!" Chuuya demanded, fighting with himself so he didn't turn into a useless, weeping mess.

     "Maybe 2-3 minutes..." Atsushi responded. "D-Does he have th-that long...?" The boy had big tears rolling down his face.

    "I'll make sure he does." Chuuya growled, turning his attention back to stopping the blood from Dazai's wrists. 

     "Damn it C-Chuuya..." Dazai hissed, clenching his teeth. "Just l-let me d-die!" 

     "Like hell I will!" Chuuya retorted, his voice wavery from crying. 

     "P-Please...let me g-go..." Dazai whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut. 

The door to the church opened, slamming into the wall. 

Yosano rushed to Dazai's side. 

     "What happened?!" She asked, setting to work. Atsushi piped up from behind her. 

     "He did it to himself...." The boy murmured. Yosano fell silent, working solemnly. 

Chuuya had curled up against the other wall, crying. 

Dazai, still concious, was busy pleading with Yosano to let him die. 

After a few minutes, Yosano announced that he was stable enough to move. 

     "He'll come with me in my car, it's safer for him." And with that, a very shaken Kunikida gathered Atsushi and Chuuya. 

The three of them drove back to the agency. 

     "C-Chuuya, you said, earlier, that he had done this before...can you tell us about it?" Kunikida asked, the tremor in his voice betraying how shocked and worried he was. 

Chuuya agreed, he had nothing to lose. 

Carefully skipping over any details that hinted towards their relationship, he described how, for years and years, Dazai had these destructive episodes. 

He described the first time he had found Dazai, the times Chuuya had managed to prevent a repeat of his partner's attempt, and the times he had to make an emergency phone call to save Dazai's life from his own hands. 

Atsushi was silent, intruding every now and again to ask a question. Kunikida was growing increasingly concerned. 

He was Dazai's current partner, and yet, he knew nothing about this. 

He took a deep breath. 

    "Chuuya...how often did these happen, say, per week?" Clenching his teeth, the idealist prepared himself for the response to his question. Seeing how Dazai had behaved today, his habits had probably not changed. 

     "I'd say -the times I caught him, anyways- maybe...twice a week? More?" Kunikida's blood ran cold. 

This meant that, most likely, his goofy, obnoxious partner harmed himself twice a week. 

Kunikida felt a sharp stab of guilt as he recalled how he had always treated Dazai like an idiot. 

His heart dropped when, remembering all the times Dazai had been late to meetings and shown up with fresh bandages, he realized that the former mafioso had probably just finished up with an attack. 

Kunikida resolved to treat Dazai a thousand times better when he recovered. 

Atsushi was crying. 

     "H-He was so kind to me...he was hurting this bad and he still put on a smile for us..." Atsushi sobbed, Chuuya rubbing circles on the boy's back. The ginger smiled weakly. 

    "Dazai was always like that...he could be dying inside and he would still do everything in his power to comfort those he cared about..." Chuuya cut himself off. He felt tears gathering in his eyes again. 

Kunikida noticed that Chuuya was as worried, if not more, than they were. 

    "Say, Chuuya...you and Dazai seem very close." Chuuya froze.

    "Of course...we were partners, after-all." The redhead gushed. "On top of that, he is a rather endearing character." He continued, careful not to let too much slip. 

Within a few minutes, they had arrived at the agency. Chuuya had insisted to go see Dazai instead of returning to the Maifa headquarters. 

Heading inside, they were surprised to find the office to be in absolute chaos. 

    "Kunikida, Atsushi!" Tanizaki called, rushing to meet up with them. "What the hell happened out there?! Yosano just came in here with a ridiculously bloody Dazai on a gurney!" 

They glanced at each-other, silently agreeing that Kunikida would explain and Chuuya could fill in the details. 

     "Well you see..." Kunikida began.