March - Falsettos Oneshots

Career Day

 A/N: I asked Marvin and Jason about this idea and they both found it to be a good and funny concept so I wrote it instead of studying for the FINAL I HAVE TOMORROW. Anatomy can wait (says while it's almost 8 PM). I hope you enjoy this. Let me know if bits don't make sense. Also Dead Gay Dads AU makes (yet another) return in this. And the bullies are having character development (oooooh!) Hope you enjoy! ~ Whizzer (Cassie)

"Jason? It's your turn. Where is your parent? Are they not coming?" my history teacher asks me, looking at me, concerned. Today we were supposed to bring one or two of our parents to school in order for them to discuss their careers. I would have brought Mendel, but he had a new client, and he really couldn't miss out on the opportunity to get someone else to pay him. Mom is drunk as usual, so I certainly couldn't bring her. Both of the neighbors were busy as well, so I'm stuck without a living parent. Well, it's time to either get pitied or mocked.

"Well, I have two of my dads right here," I say, smiling at Dad and Whizzer, who stand next to me. I reach into my bag and drag out a massive ouija board. Dad chuckles a bit, and pulls Whizzer over to the front of the class. "Ask away!"

"Jason... they're dead?" the teacher questions softly. He places a hand on my shoulder, but I shrug it off, dropping the board on a table in the center of the room. I place the planchette on the board and look around the class.

"Anyone have anything to ask them? They may be dead, but they're not gone. If you don't believe me, come up here and do it yourself. Their names are Marvin and Whizzer," I announce proudly. The teacher looks like he wants to say something to me, but refrains from doing so, instead remaining quiet and letting the class ask my dads things.

Karl stands up and walks over to me. Since I started dating Stevie, he's been sort of my friend. He's kind of my bodyguard now, which is cool, although he still relentlessly teases me.

"So, this is for Whizzer. What did you do before you died?" Karl asks calmly, placing his hands on the planchette. Whizzer steps in front of him and places his hands on the other end. After several failed attempts, he manages to spell out "p-h-o-t-o-g-r-a-p-h-y" correctly.

"Well, not really professionally, but I did enjoy it," Whizzer says, winking at Dad. I had met Whizzer for the first time when he took our family photo one year. I don't think he was in a relationship with my dad at that time though. I relay the message to the class calmly, and I begin to notice the odd looks most of the students are giving me.

"Cool," Karl says, returning to his seat.

Madeline stands up next, rushing over to us excitedly. "This goes to both of you! I suppose Whizzer should go first since he's already prepared! So, what's it like being dead? Is it lonely?"

Whizzer chuckles and says "no" before spelling out "b-o-r-i-n-g." Of course Whizzer manages to sound sassy in writing. Madeline laughs as Dad steps up, claiming that being dead is "n-i-c-e."

"Could you elaborate on that, maybe? How in the world is being dead nice?" Mads questions, causing Dad to sigh. It does take a while for him to spell out anything, so this will be fun for him. Reluctantly, he spells out "no r-e-s-p-o-n-s-i-b-i-l-i-t-i-e-s" with a laugh.

"Okay, okay, fair enough," she replies happily, sitting back down.

The next student asks Whizzer how long he has been dead for, but he decides to reply with "n-i-n-e m-o-n-t-h-s" jokingly, before saying "no f-o-u-r y-e-a-r-s."

Suddenly, another kid who is usually quiet stands up. I think her name is Tina, or something similar to that. She approaches me slowly and stares at me with a smirk.

"This is for Marvin," she says. Dad switches places with Whizzer, preparing to answer the impending question. "Was it your career choice that caused your son to be such a loser?"

Dad's face quickly becomes laced with anger. In a fit of rage, he flings the planchette off the table, striking Tina's arm. She screeches and rushes at me, claiming that I was some sort of satanist, though I know I'm not. Whizzer grabs my wrist and yanks me back behind the teacher's desk rapidly, effectively shielding me from the other teenager. He wraps his arms around me, holding me tightly, and at the moment, I don't even register how unusual that is. After a while, the teacher looks up and actually understands what is going on. In the meantime, Karl and Madeline both stand up and attempt to restrain Tina, bringing her back to her seat.

"Tina, this is not the behaviour I want in my classroom. I'm sorry, but I must send you to the principal's office for disciplinary action," the teacher says once he finishes processing the situation. "As for you, Jason, take a seat. We will be continuing with our presentations."

"I am not going to allow this demon to be my classmate! He is evil! Did no one else see the board move on its own? It's witchcraft!" she screams. My 'friends' hold her back, attempting to force her out of the room. They succeed after a few minutes, eventually being able to return to the classroom and rejoin us.

"Jason. Sit down," the teacher asserts, looking at me expectantly.

I nod quietly, eyes watering a bit. The entire class is staring at me, and I can't help but feel intimidated and a somewhat embarrassed. I gather up my things and rush to my seat to put everything away. Karl and Madeline, who sit at my table, look at me with worried expressions.

"Are you okay, Jase?" Karl asks, concerned. Madeline nods and puts her hand over mine.

"I'm fine. I think," I reply, but I know that I'm lying.

After realizing that I can't focus on anything else, I ask if I can head to the bathroom. Understanding my situation, the teacher lets me go. Once I get there, the room is thankfully entirely empty. I collapse onto the ground, breathing heavily. My dads kneel next to me, attempting to calm me down.

"Jason, are you alright? What's going on?" Dad asks me gently. I shake my head, and he frowns. "Is it what she said about you? You know it's not true, right? You are wonderful, okay?"

I sigh. "I just hate how no one really took this seriously. We only got through one question! Everyone else was respected. She just insulted me. And I'm not a satanist, I'm Jewish!"

Whizzer laughs. "Yes, we know. She's neurotic, I swear. Don't worry about her."

"Oh! That reminds me! How did you get me out of there earlier, Whizzer? You're not usually able to move objects larger than a book, even when you're incredibly determined," I question, confused.

"I'm not sure, Jason," he confesses, frowning at me. "All I knew in that moment was that I needed you to be safe. Nothing else really mattered then."

"He's basically saying that it was the power of love," Dad adds with a smile.

"Oh, come on, Marvin, don't be cheesy," Whizzer says with a laugh.

"Well it's true," I add. Several minutes later, I nod. "Okay, let's go back to class. We only have 10 minutes left of school anyways." This is the only time I will ever be glad that I have history as my 6th period.

Once I arrive home, I find Mendel and Mom actually having a conversation. And Mom is surprisingly sober.

"Hi, honey. How was your day?" Mom asks kindly, patting the space next to her.

"It was alright. Someone accused me of being a satanist for bringing a ouija board to school for career day. You two were both... busy, so I brought Dad and Whizzer to school with me. It was pretty nice other than that," I reply with a grin.

"You brought what to school?" Mendel questions, concerned.

"Just a thing so that people can talk to ghosts," I say as if it's the most normal thing in the world. Mendel looks a bit scared, but if he has any issue with this, he says nothing. "Oh and Whizzer protected me from the yelling girl!"

"That's nice. Well, you should get going on that homework! Love you!" Mom says, waving me into the other room.

Though today was stressful, I'm glad that I have parents who love me, including the dead ones. Even if this family is unconventional, I love it.