March - Falsettos Oneshots

Treena

So the story behind this is that my friend mispronounced Trina's name. And obviously we decided that while drunk, she would have the alter ego of Treena the tree. So this is somewhat just a comedy thingy but also as good of quality writing as I usually do. Cause I can do proper grammar and spelling! Well, anyways, I hope you enjoy haha ~ Whizzer/Cassie

I'm shocked upon receiving a call from Mendel, of all people. Despite being friends with him, he hasn't really tried to contact me recently. To be fair, though, I really have been a bitch recently with my unwillingness to do anything but study the AIDS epidemic. On the day that Cordelia is finally successful at getting me to take a break, I get called in to assist him. He has to work late tonight, in his words, "until the bar closes," whenever that is. I'm not quite sure what type of work he's doing at a bar, but at least it is paying enough for him to keep his family afloat.

As to the reason Mendel called me, he claimed that Trina is hopelessly drunk again, and Jason is at his friend's house sleeping over, so there is no one able to make sure she doesn't hurt herself. Mendel had previously attempted to hide all of the alcohol in his house, but Trina was somehow able to find it with ease. Even when he tries to get rid of it, she seems to always have more, which really worries me. As a doctor and a person with any sense of logic whatsoever, I know that this is certainly not good for her health. Even worse, she acts fairly insane when extremely intoxicated, which seems to be the case for tonight. Hopefully she'll sober up over the course of the night or just fall asleep, but I fear that won't be the case. At least Cordelia offered to help me tonight.

"You ready?" Cordelia asks me. I'm unable to do anything but nod as she links her arm with mine and drags me out the door, her "magical hangover cure" in her hand. I have no clue what she put in that thing, but it doesn't seem like something I'd want to try. With a sigh, I lock the door and walk over to the neighboring house. Cordelia swiftly unlocks it with the key Mendel gifted us since, face it, Trina certainly wouldn't be in the right state of mind to open the door for us.

"Hey, Trina?" I shout into the seemingly empty house. Cordelia steps in behind me, looking around nervously as she shuts the door.

"Trina? Who is 'Trina' you speak of? I only know Treena. And that person is right here," Trina says, triumphantly jumping out from behind the sofa, causing both me and Cordelia to jump, my lover squeaking a bit. Trina smiles at us widely, using her index finger to point at herself. She's wearing an extremely odd outfit consisting of a long brown dress with a smaller green skirt that she wears like a poncho. She seems to have taped a potted plant to her head. A flower? What the...

"Um, hello... Treena. Exactly how much have you had to drink today?" Cordelia asks quietly, worry evident in her voice. I glance at her, raising an eyebrow. Why is she enabling her?

"Trina, stop. We know it's you. Treena doesn't exist," I say bluntly, looking at her with a clearly unimpressed expression. Trina stares blankly at us for several minutes, unblinking. It's actually incredibly unnerving how she manages to do this, but I don't know how to react properly, electing to back away slowly.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Trina finally says, focusing her attention on my face with the most fake smile I have ever seen. "My name is Treena, and I am a tree."

"What...What are you talking about?" Cordelia questions, looking just as shocked as I am. How in the world does Trina manage to stay simultaneously calm and insane? She acts like it is perfectly normal for her to be a tree. Which she isn't.

"Don't you see my beautiful leaves?" She runs her hand over the skirt, stopping with her hand mid chest. "My lovely flower?" She pats the pot on her head as if it is a pet. "My bark?" She gestures to her entire body at this point as if it is the most obvious thing in the world.