My Little Secret

A Love Like War

I wake up in my bedroom, and I'm wearing different clothes? I get out of bed and head towards the bathroom to brush my teeth, damn I need it. As I'm rinsing my mouth, I hear Alex's voice downstairs, I hurried up, put some clothes on and rush downstairs. By the time I get to the hallway, I realized he was speaking with a low voice, then I heard my mother jump into the coversation. I sat in the hallway, just listening, then Jack somes up behind me and asks why I'm being so nosey. I shrug, so we both decide to sit there and listen to whats going on. At the end of the conversation I realized that they were talking about where I should go for "the best". Alex wants me to to on tour witht he band, but my mom thinks its best for me to go to Delaware with her sister, my aunt Shelby. ugh. Alex: "She needs to be with people who know her and understand her personality, Shelby doesn't even know how old she is, besides, I love her and will not let her go so far from me". 

I paused. Jack noticed it too, so he pocked my side and I kinda giggled. The two stopped talking, suddenly I hear a body stand from the couch and start walking up the stairs, great. I run into my room and close the door, get in bed and pretend to be asleep. My mom peeks in and then closes the door, I overhear her telling Jack to stop being such a child, About 3 minutes later I feel someone sit on my bed, a soft touch lands on my arm and I realize its Alex. I turn around and he looks like shit. "What happened to you?". A: Well my girl got hit by a car like two days ago and I thought you weren't gonna wake up so I went to a bar last night and came here afterwards, you're mom just threw a fit that we shouldn't be together." V:"What are you talking about?" A:"Lets just say that this is goodbye" V:"Wait what? I don't want to say goodbye" A:"Babe I have to go, I would love to stay and eventually marry you and have little Alex's and Violet's running around but I can't, baby I'm sorry, I can't" 

He kisses my cheek and starts standing up, but I pulled on his arm and he sat back down. V: "You can't just leave me like that." A: "I really can, It's just very wrong" V: "Yeah, It really is". 

He leans down and we kiss. He holds me like if we're never going to see eachother again, kisses me with such great passon. Alex trails down my neck and stops at my breast. he sucks on them until their red. I can feel him rubbing on me, his breathing gets heavier and we end up losing it. My panties come off and he slides in. As the time passes, I realize I don't want him to leave me at all, I want to stay and spend the rest of my life with this man, he's not anywhere near perfect but to me, I couldn't find anyone better. 

"ALEX!!!" I wake up with a yell from Ryan, he's in a SUV ouside. Alex is gone. I run to the window and see him with his guitar in one hand and a jacket in the other. My hear completely dropped, so I put on his shirt from last night, slip on some vans and a pair of shorts and run out the door. "Alex!". He turns around, smiles and catches me as I run towards him. "Alex you can't leave me here alone, I can't stay here on my own, I know how I've messed up in the past, I know I'm not exactly a stable person, but I know that we can be together, its okay, if we fight, we'll talk it through, if we mess up, we'll fix it, theres nothing to be afraid of, baby we're okay, I promise you we'll get through everything". 

"Violet I have to go, I'm sorry" 

He put me down, picked up his things, and got in the vehicle. My heart was crushed and I just started walking back to my front door. I run up to my room, tears in my eyes and try to fall asleep. Everything I just said and all he said was "Violet I have to go. I'm sorry" What kind of ass whole just says I have to go after his whatever I am, or was, goes and pours her heart out to him? I fell asleep after that." 

I wake up with heavy breath and sweating, it's 3 in the morning, wait what? I turn around and see Alex holding me. A: "Violet, its ok, calm down, you probably just had a bad dream". I am so confused. Did I just dream that? V: "Did you and Zack and Ryan and Jack go anywhere yesterday? A: "Besides the bar? no, why?" Okay good it was just a dream. "No reason." A:"Okay, can we go back to bed? I have to go out on tour tomorrow." V:"You will? are you gonna wake me up before you go?" A:"I wasn't planning to but if you want, then yeah" V:"Ok, yeah wake me up." A:"Okay then, goodnight babe, I love you" V:"Love you too."

"Violet? Violet I'm ready to leave, Ryan's honking on the horn and hurrying me up." I get up, kiss him, put on his shirt from last night, some shorts, slip on my vans and walk im to the door. He kisses me back, says he loves me and walks away with a guitar in one hand and his jacket in the other. Just like in my dream, except this time I don't chase after him. As they drive away I start closing the door.  All of a sudden I hear tires screeching, I turn around and see Alex running out of the SUV. He uns towards me, and out of breath, he says "Violet I know this might sound crazy and illogical, but I want to marry you, I want you to marry me, what do you say?"