stood up// l.s.

1

  "Can you bring ice cream on your way over?" I sniffled into the receiver, and wiped away my remaining tears. "Of course, mate. Be there in 5." He replied. I pulled my large blue blanket tighter around me. "Thanks, Ni... I love you." I heard Niall sigh, "Love you too."

  We hung up, and I was back to sitting quietly in my room. The only sounds were my sniffles, and my phone playing my breakup playlist. Which sounds pathetic, but it happens a lot. For some reason, I just couldn't keep a boyfriend for very long. I'm not quite sure what I was doing wrong, but it had to be me.

  My boyfriend of three and a half months, Calvin, just broke up with me over the phone a few minutes ago. He said it was because he was just really busy with studies, and that our relationship demanded a lot of time. I came to the conclusion that maybe I was just too clingy. But I think it was because of our argument last week. He wanted to have sex... but I wasn't ready yet. I'm just nervous about my first time, and want to make sure I really trust them. But he said that he'd gave me a long time already, and that I was just making up excuses at this point.

  I rolled over in my bed, and cuddled into a ball next to my pillows. I'm so glad my dorm mate wasn't home right now, I'm sure he didn't want to see me crying, again.

  I heard a soft couple of taps on the door. I knew it was Niall, with ice cream. So I got up from bed, with my blanket still pulled tightly around my shivering body, and opened the door. He stood there, in a gray jacket and hood up, with a bag with a few ice cream cartons in it.

  He sighed as soon as he looked me over. "Oh Lous..." He mumbled. My lip trembled, and I collapsed into his chest. I was such a baby. It wasn't even that long of a relationship. But I really like Calvin, and I had known him since we were younger.

  He walked us back over to small full sized bed, covered in tons of random pillows and throw blankets. I lean my head onto his shoulder as he rubs my back soothingly. "This is happening way too often..." He mumbles. "It's starting to feel a little like déjà vu, don't you think?" He asked softly. I nodded weakly, as a few more tears rolled down my cheeks.

  "I-I just don't get it... what am I doing wrong?" I groaned. He pulled me off of him, and grabbed my shoulders. His pretty blue eyes stared into mine sternly, like a mother scolding her son. "Absolutely nothing, Lou! None of this is your fault." He stated firmly.

  I could tell that Niall was trying his hardest to make me feel better. And he's usually pretty good at keeping my mood up, but not this time. Something about this time was different. It had happened so many times, and I eventually started to hurt less and less. But it still hurt nonetheless, I was just a little less surprised every time that they dumped me.

  I have had 4 different boyfriends this year, and it was only October! In January through March, I was dating a sweet boy named David. He moved here from the states, and I loved his cute little American accent. He always made me laugh, and he was very public with our relationship. Like holding my hand, and walking me to all my classes. It was all very sweet of him. But then, a few days before our four month anniversary, he broke up with me at a local coffee shop. He said that he just wasn't ready for a relationship, and he needed more time to be free. He felt like he was being held down, and thought that maybe he had commitment issues. Which I understand, who would want to commit to me anyways?

  Then, in May, I met a guy named, Logan. He was in the library late at night, and I just so happened to be studying late that same night. He asked to study with me, and I gladly agreed. He was very attractive. He was a lot taller than me, and had dusty blonde hair and pretty brown eyes. Later that night, we made out at the library. But he begged me not to bring it up to anyone. He wanted to keep us a secret, but liked to invite me over for a lot of make out sessions and movie marathons. He finally broke up with me in June, when he decided we were going no where. He just couldn't see a future with someone like me I guess.