stood up// l.s.

3

  I swear I wanted to fucking murder the sun. I've genuinely never been this pissed off at a giant ball of gas before. But here we are.

  At the early morning of 8 o'clock, the sun decided it would be a good time to shine through the curtains and blind me until I woke up. Which is really a dick move, to be honest.

  I hadn't gotten a lot of sleep last night, I was too busy thinking. Of who? No one important...

  So at 8 o'clock, I rolled over in my tired state, and covered my eyes to shield myself from the bright rays shooting down through the window. I didn't have any early lectures this morning, so I had planned on sleeping in until noon. But apparently the universe had other plans.

  After a while, I finally got myself up out of bed and got dressed. I needed to pick up a few things from the store. That being; some shampoo and conditioner (obviously coconut), a new charger, since his old purple one was fading into an ugly gray. And some new running shoes.

  My old pair had gotten really muddy on the last jog I went on, and I was really disappointed. They were white with pink adidas signs on them, and I wore them almost always. But some twat riding his bike, splashed mud on them.

  But I was quick to make sure that this guy knew that he had fucked up. I gave him two middle fingers, and a long rant about how they 'probably cost more than your life, you fucking cunt face'.

  Without my morning runs, I felt lazy. I didn't workout much, but I was nervous if I stopped running I'd gain all the weight back that I had worked so hard on getting rid of. One of my last boyfriends said he couldn't give me a piggy back ride, since I was so heavy. And immediately after that, I went on every diet possible and did as much workout as I felt like doing.

  I successfully lost 15 pounds, but I was still very insecure about my weight. And how the shape of my hips were a little too curvy for a boy. But I tried my best to take pride in them, since all my exes thought it was a good thing.

  I slipped on a comfy black sweatshirt, and some holy black jeans. I made eye contact with myself in the mirror, and immediately cringed.

  I had dark circles under my eyes that were almost as dark as bruises. And my hair was flared up into different directions. I tried my best to smooth them down, but they still ruffled up and all over.

  I sighed in defeat, and grabbed a pair of black vans. These would have to do until I got another good pair of running shoes. But nothing could compare to my white adidas ones.

  I quietly snuck out, trying not to wake Liam, and trudged down the quiet hallway. It was a Friday, so obviously no guys in the dorms would be up this early.

  I wrapped my arms tightly around myself as I leaned up against the elevator wall. It was freezing in here, and I was known for always being cold anyways.

  I think that was the main thing I missed about my exes. They always gave me their hoodies to keep me warm. Now I resorted to buying my own, or stealing Niall's or Liam's. But it wasn't the same. They didn't hold the same meaning. They weren't graciously given to me because they wanted to keep me warm and show me their love, I wore them because I had stolen them.

  After a few moments, the doors opened again and I walked out to my car. The morning air was still crisp and I tried not to shiver too much. I walked across the parking lot, and unlocked my car. As soon as I sat down, I turned on the heated seat and ac.

  I plugged my phone in and turned on Over my Head by The Fray. It was one of my favorites, and it felt like a good song to listen to at the moment. I sat in the parking lot for awhile, just listening and letting myself warm up.