Everything I Didn't Say – Chapter Seven
After contemplating if I should follow her, I eventually did. Sinundan ko siya at hinanap sa buong building pero wala. Hinanap ko rin siya sa canteen pero wala rin siya doon. Then I found her sitting at the middle of the field. Nakapangalumbaba at mukhang umiiyak.
Dahan-dahan akong lumapit sa kanya. Hindi ko alam kung hindi niya ba talaga ako nakikita o umaarte lang siya na hindi but when I finally saw her face clearly, I was right. She's crying.
Napailing na lang ako. I squatted in front of her. Umangat ang tingin niya, her swollen eyes glared at me.
"What are you doing here?" Galit niyang tanong.
I can't help but to laugh at her face. She's too cute. Fuck.
I held her chin. Nagpumiglas pa siya pero sapilitan ngunit maingat kong pinunasan ang pisngi niya. "You're such a cry baby..."
She pushed my hand away. "Why do you care?! Alam mo, huwag ka ngang magpanggap na may paki!"
At this moment, I should be scared because her voice was really loud and it could get the attention of others but I was smiling and I don't fucking know why. This is really bad.
I cupped her both cheeks. Nanlaki ang mata niya sa ginawa ko. Tinitigan ko lang siya sa mata habang pinupunasan 'yung pisngi niya. I can feel her delicate yet hot skin against my palm.
Binaba ko ang mga kamay ko. "I'm sorry for being an ass." I apologized.
"'Yun lang?"
I bit my lower lip to stop myself from smiling.
"I'm sorry for everything... Is that enough?"
She rolled her eyes. "Ang pabebe mo kasi..." Bulong niya.
"Kaya nga sorry." Sabi ko ulit. "Am I forgiven?"
She didn't look at me but she nodded.
"Now, do you still want to continue our project?"
Suminghal siya. "Project pa rin nasa isip mo?"
"Of course. My grades are at stake here."
Sinamaan niya ako ng tingin pero bahagyang umaangat ang gilid ng labi niya. I tried not to smile but for the first time in my life, I never felt so relieved and satisfied.
***
"You've been doing a great job, Regret." the Doctor said. "Wala ka namang nararamdamang sakit these past few days?"
I shook my head. "I feel really fine, Doktora."
Nakita kong napangiti si Mommy at Daddy doon. It's Saturday and I have a monthly check-up with my doctor. Like the usual, nagreseta siya ng gamot ngunit nasa mababang dosage. Maganda ang naging kondisyon ko kaya medyo maluwag sa akin ngayon.
"Still Stage 2, Ma'am..." I heard her whisper to my Mom. Kunwari hindi ako nakikinig dahil may nakapasak na earphones sa akin. "Kailangan na lang i-monitor ang kalagayan niya. Continue pa rin natin ang gamot. Mahirap na..."
Hindi ko na narinig ang sinasabi nila dahil mas pinili kong lakasan ang pinapatugtog. As much as I want to know what my real findings are, I chose not to eavesdrop. Ayoko nang dagdagan pa ang mga iniisip ko dahil makasasama lang ito para sa akin.
"What's that?" Mabilis kong natago sa bulsa ko ang gamot ko at hinarap si Kaia. "Vitamins?"
Matagal bago ako tumango. "Ang tagal mo. Ipapasa na 'to bukas." Sabi ko na lang.
She just rolled her eyes and sat in front of me. We were silent the whole time. Our conversation would always be about our project.
I don't know. After that fight, I decided to just keep the distance between us because I might do something that could hurt her and that is the last thing I want.
"Pupunta ka sa Freshie's night?" She asked randomly.
I shrugged my shoulders. "Probably not."
"What? Why?"
"That's a bore."
Natawa siya. "Grabe ka naman! Paano mo nalaman? You haven't tried it pa nga."
"I just know." Simple kong sagot. "Ano ba ang posibleng gagawin doon? Konting performance tapos kakain. Konting games tapos sayawan at aalis na. I can do it in my own house."
"Ang sassy mo!" She exclaimed. "Huwag kang ganyan. Baka ma-fall ako."
Napatigil ako sa ginagawa at tumitig sa kanya. Is she really saying this?
"Don't." Agap ko. "I will just hurt you." Dagdag ko pa dahil iyon ang totoo. Mananakit lang ako.
"Baka lang, okay? Saka hello, ang dami pang magiging lalaki rito. Mas mabait at mas approachable kaysa sa'yo. Sungit. Antipatiko."
That hurt me a little bit but I nodded anyway. Tutal ito ang gusto ko. Ang lumayo siya sa akin.
"Whatever."
The day before the freshie's night, I was torn if I should go or not. I didn't really want to go but my mother's quite persistent. She even volunteered as one of the student-parent representatives for our section.
"You look good, Regret!" A classmate said.
"Thanks."
My eyes roamed around and immediately saw Kaia who's looking at me. She's wearing a white spaghetti strap blouse and blue faded skirt. Nakasuot din ito ng itim na boots kaya medyo tumangkad siya.
Umiwas ako ng tingin. I sat on the chair assigned and just stayed there. May ilang lumapit sa akin para magpapicture pero tumatanggi ako. Bahala sila. Ayokong maging plastik.
I was caught off guard when I felt a soft hand on my shoulders. I looked up and saw Kaia.
"What?" Masungit kong tanong.
"Let's take a picture there!" Then she pointed the photobooth near us.
Hinarap ko ulit ang stage. "Go with your friends."
"But you're my friend!"
"No, I'm not."
"Sige na, Regret! KJ mo naman!"
Tiningnan ko siya ulit. "You have your own set of friends. Sila ang guluhin mo at huwag ako."
She heavily sighed. Akala ko titigil siya pero laking gulat ko nang hawakan niya ang kamay ko saka ako hinila. I know I was thin but I didn't know how she easily dragged me towards the photobooth!
"Can't you be nice? At least for now?" She asked then she placed a fucking crown above my head.
"I'm not going to wear this." Sabi ko at tatanggalin sana pero ang sama ng tingin niya sa akin kaya naibaba ko kaagad ang kamay ko. "Fine!"
She kept on giving me costumes and other stuff. Our classmates teased us but I didn't care. Kaia also didn't care. Can't they see? I was forced to do this!
"Thanks, Regret. I had fun!" Kaia said after the party ended.
I nodded. "Yeah, right." I sarcastically answered.
"Sungit..." She whispered. "Mabait na nga ako sa'yo ngayon, e."
I chuckled. "Should I be thankful, then?"
She raised a brow. "Of course! Sa'yo lang ako mabait."
"Then thanks." I said before turning my back. "Take care." And God knows I meant every word I said.
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Everything I Didn't Say (Regret Sandoval)
General FictionRegret Sandoval's Story. Forgetting Regret Sandoval in Regret's point of view.