Dark Dreams

THE LOVE JAR

I stared at my bedroom ceiling, moving my feet frantically. Between lessons and homework, the days had passed quickly and, in a blink of an eye, it was already Saturday!

In Goldmist, October 6, the anniversary of its founding, was a holiday. This meant that, as I didn't have to go to school, I had more time to plan how I would go to the Elite Party.

It was already noon and, looking down at my duck pajamas, I realized that it would be a difficult undertaking, but as I had promised myself several times, I would do anything to be admitted to Silver Wings. I rolled over, finding myself on my stomach with my head resting on my hands. I wondered if they would accept me more easily if they believed I was one of them. Of course, there would be many kids from my high school there, but with a bit of makeup and skill, I would manage to escape their hateful looks. And then it was a masquerade party, so I would definitely go unnoticed.

I might be able to make a friend or, even better, meet the boy of my dreams. My lower limbs began to cross like a dance.

But what was I thinking?

Everyone knew that boys weren't interested in a girl like me and, even if there was one insane enough to find me interesting, he would never accept the harsh rules imposed by my family. Although, to be honest, it would be really romantic to meet a boy during a party and fall in love with him at first sight while the stars shone high in the sky, aware of the birth of a new love.

Knock knock.

"Sarah, where did you put your Winnie the Pooh socks? I can't find them and I'm loading the washing machine," my mother said, coming in.

"Mom, explain to me what the point of knocking is if you enter without even waiting for me to tell you that you can come in?" I yelled, trying to hide the redness that had invaded my cheeks.

"Is there something wrong?" she asked, approaching the foot of the bed.

She was worse than a trained dog at sniffing out lies. And then she had an evil sixth sense that allowed her to understand when I was thinking about people of the opposite sex.

"No, there is absolutely nothing wrong," I said, sitting down. "Everything's fine. Actually, what am I saying? Everything's great. Yeah, incredibly awesome." I promised myself that from that day on I would practice telling lies in front of the mirror.

"My darling duck," she said, sitting down close to me, "Are you worried about tomorrow?"

"Yes," I replied.

It wasn't true, but it wasn't a lie, since it was obvious that I was restless about what would happen the following day.

"Last year the visit to your father's grave didn't go very well," she sighed.

"Mom, it was the first time that we went back to Blueshore, after a year in this city," I said, looking down. "You can't have expected me to jump for joy."

"And how do you feel about tomorrow? It will be a long journey and you'll have to face childhood memories and your difficulty accepting..."

"I have accepted Dad's death," I said, clenching my fists.

"We have set aside enough savings in The Love Jar over the year," she said, placing her hand on my shoulder. "This time we can buy some beautiful flowers."

I smiled weakly. I told myself that it was a good time to start a conversation about a hypothetical party. And in fact, I would have talked about anything to avoid talking about the anniversary of Dad's death.

"Mom..." I said, taking a deep breath.

"Yes?" she asked, worried.

I didn't know how to deal with the discussion. When we were in my hometown, my mother let me go out in the evening with Maya, but Blueshore was a small town, nothing like sinful Goldmist.