Dark Dreams

HALLOWEEN

In no time it was already Wednesday, October 31. To celebrate the party that had ruined my social life, I had decided to reread the first issue of The Golden-Haired Girl. I was perched on a bench in the Union Hills soccer stadium; the Lions were training but, given the cloudy and gray afternoon, hardly anyone was watching. No one except Dick, who was sitting astride the same bench but several yards away from me. He was staring at me, his legs spread, hair blowing in the wind and a cigarette in his mouth. At least I thought he was watching me, his black Dior shades made it hard to figure out. I decided not to think about him and dived into reading my manga.

Just when I was reading the part where the golden-haired girl defeats Drugus - a specter of the night - a shadow covered the manga. I looked up and saw Jay. He was wearing his soccer kit and holding a dark blue umbrella in his hand. I looked around and, besides noticing that Dick was gone, saw that it was raining.

"Thank you," I said, a little embarrassed.

"What are you doing here all alone in the rain?" he asked me, sitting on the bench in front of mine. "Aren't you going to get ready for the party?"

I'd forgotten the Halloween party that was held every year in the Union Hills party room. Odette made sure that those who didn't attend school events were marked absent on the register, arguing that: "Only people who know how to behave in society can be leaders."

"To tell the truth I'd completely forgotten about it," I said, biting my lower lip.

"Are you okay?" he asked, frowning. "I haven't seen you around much since the Country Club. I haven't been able to thank you. My mother bought it and my grandparents don't hate you, which is a big deal."

As if in a nightmare I saw Kiki's head pop out from nowhere. It floated around me and began telling me: "Express your feelings, Sarah!"

I sighed, knowing she wouldn't stop until I had spoken out.

"Jay, the truth is that... well," I scratched my thighs nervously, protected by my usual misshapen jeans. "The kiss you gave me... It was..." I took a deep breath. "It was my first kiss."

At the very least, I was sure that now he'd start teasing me. Maybe he'd gang up with Katrina. I looked away and closed my eyes forcefully, expecting a big fat laugh on Jay's part.

Instead, he stood up suddenly and put his hands in his glossy hair, which seemed softer than ever.

"What the hell, Sarah!" he blurted out. "You could have told me! I had no idea! I thought a girl like you would already have been kissed. God, I feel like my soccer buddies: an idiot who treats girls like objects."

I stared at him open mouthed.

I'd expected anything but an apology from Jay Bradford for kissing me. And above all, I couldn't stop thinking about what he had said: a girl like you.

He saw me differently to the way I saw myself?

"That's not all," I said with a strange belly of courage. I took out the seven photos from the party and told him about Sunday morning and how I'd woken up. "And then there's this picture," I told him, showing him the photo that showed him kissing me on the cheek.

"You don't think it was me?!" he exclaimed, handing me back the picture as if it were a hot potato.

"I don't know what to think, Jay," I said anxiously. "Why did you kiss me on the cheek? We'd never spoken before that Sunday. I don't think we knew each other well enough to kiss."

He looked away.

"You can tell me everything," I urged him. "I just did. I expect you to do the same."