Dark Dreams

CONFUSED

I spent the day answering teachers' questions and staring out the window, lost in observing the outside world. I had to do a written literature assignment and, for the first time I could remember, I got several answers wrong. My mind wasn't cooperating, while my heart was suffering, distressed at the idea of being alone again. If only Jay had been by my side, giving me a shoulder to lean on, maybe I would have been stronger, but he wasn't there and I knew that within a few weeks my mother and I wouldn't even have enough money to fill the fridge. The thought made me slump in my wooden chair. I felt as if I were lost on the side of a road with thick fog preventing me from reading the road signs.

From the window of the philosophy classroom, I could see the soccer pitch. The Lions were all present, psyched up like never before and ready for the next day's game. Cooper was doing some stretches on the grass with his shirt off.

Gross.

Jay was running along the perimeter of the field alone. He had the air of team captain, sure of himself and his movements. Despite the previous evening's rain, his hair shone in the light of the warm sun, giving him gold and silver highlights. I kept looking at him, foolishly hoping he'd feel me on his skin, just as I could feel his lips on mine. I screamed his name in my mind, but he didn't hear.

Once, I read in one of those magazines for girls which I used to cover my broken window that teenage males are characterized by insensitivity and a weak sense of guilt.

I wondered if it were true.

I had lessons until four and, just when I was about to put on my skates and whizz away from the hell called school, the speakers emitted an annoying metallic sound.

"Sarah Bloom, in my office."

The déjà vu made me shudder.

"Now!"

Odette's office seemed even darker and more macabre. I was almost certain that the number of stuffed birds had risen, along with the number of photos showing her holding trophies and medals. Her beak-like nose was pointed at a sheet of paper in her hands. As soon as she noticed my presence, she beckoned me to sit on the chair in front of her desk.

I obeyed, provoking a shrill sound due to the leather of the chair that touched my back. The principal arched an eyebrow and I realized she'd already had enough of me.

"Of course, you know why I summoned you urgently," she said, turning a pencil resting on the wooden desk.

She pointed the sharpened lead at me with a masterful precision. I swallowed, imagining her launching it at me like an arrow, straight at my neck.

"Certainly," I replied, not having the slightest idea why I was there, but thinking that this was not the time to give her the impression I was stupid.

"Today is November 29, Miss Bloom," she said flatly, after leaving the pencil alone. "You know how many days there are in November, don't you?"

"Thirty." I replied. I got what she was driving at.

She bent her long neck toward me like an ostrich. The scent of pine hit me.

"In one day, you can say goodbye to Silver Wings," she said, moving her thin lips slowly. "At least you'll be able to proudly tell your grandchildren that you attended the prestigious Union Hills."

Her indifference caused my body temperature to rise by at least ten degrees. Although her attitude was detestable, I had nothing to combat it. Finding a club in one day was a fool's errand.

"Though I'm not sure you can continue the year," she said with a mock sigh of pleasure as a smile formed at the corner of her lips.

"Sorry, what are you talking about?" I asked, frightened, moving my chair back to try to get away from her annoying presence.