Why not?

Chap 15: The psychology of Mikey

Fast forward to Leatherhead's home:

*WARNING: SENSITIVE TOPICS AHEAD*

Mikey's P.O.V:

I showed Leatherhead the recent wounds on my wrist. He grabbed my left wrist carefully and stared at it. I looked down in shame. 'Oh man, he's gonna hate me,' I thought.

"Is that the entire story?" asked LH.

"Yeah," I said.

"Tell me, why did you steal the footage of the fight? It's not like you can destroy any evidence of what you did. And Sirds won't be able to erase their memories if he can't come back to this world," said LH.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. But the real reason is something I can't tell you," I said.

"What? You mean to tell me you're still going about this plan?" asked LH.

"No, I can't complete the plan without Sirds. But I can complete some part of the mission. And the footage will help me do that," I explained. 

Leatherhead just looked at me, then my left wrist. "So tell me, why exactly did you cut you're wrist?"

I screamed internally at that question. "Um, well, I can't quite explain it-" 

Leatherhead cut me off. "Well you better say something." 

"LH, you don't understand. I can't just explain to you why I did it. You have to FEEL the emotions. You just get so emotional to the point where you become emotionless. You want things to be better, so you make yourself worse. It's so complicated LH," I said.

Leatherhead just looked at me with confusion. I was on the verge of tears. 'Not even LH feels sympathy towards me. He hates me just like everyone else.'

Leatherhead must've realized this and said, "Mikey, it's okay. Do I understand why you cut yourself? No. Will I ever? Maybe. Am I going to help you regardless because I care about you? Definitely."

That was a comfort. I no longer felt tears coming out. I had resisted them. "Thanks LH."

"No problem, Michelangelo. Now, tell me, if you've been suffering from depression for 2 years, what did you do to keep yourself from... you know... slipping?"

"Oh, well, it's a simple answer. I just kept my mind on some plans that I created," I said.

"Plans?" he asked.

"Yeah, you know, ways that I can make things better for me," I responded.

"So, what were these plans? asked LH.

"Okay, so plan #1 was suicide." I looked at Leatherhead's face to see a confused shock. 

"Now wait, I know what you're thinking, that would be a terrible plan, but hear me out. I was in a dark place for a long time, and I needed a solution that would benefit me AND help others realize their mistakes. I know my family and friends love and care about me, but it's they're fault why I'm like this. They caused my depression. You with me?" I asked.

"Where else would I be? Keep going," answered Leatherhead.

"So, if I were to kill myself, they all would've been devastated. I would've left behind a note explaining everything, except my plan. I would've told them all their problems and then they would fix their problems. That way, no one else would have to suffer because they didn't care about them. Another reason for suicide is because I would want them to pay. They're the reason for my suicide? So now they have to pay the consequences. And the release of death would've stopped my depression. I would be free of my pain and everyone else would've learned their lesson. That would be the end of plan #1." I stopped to let Leatherhead give his input.