Moments Like These (A Harry Styles Fan Fiction) (Watty Awards 2012)

Chapter 38

I fell to the chair, why did people want to do this to me, how did they even find us, everything was falling apart, I really can't take this anymore, I stood up and started running I shot out the hotel door I was still dressed in my pajamas, but I didn't care, I ran, voice's screaming in my head, telling me this was my fault, my parents don't love me anymore because of me, Hope doesn't want to be my best friend anymore because of me, I wasn't good enough for Harry, I never would be.

I came to a lake, I sat down at the edge, I needed to scream, I stopped throwing pebbles up throwing my arms in the air, "why the fuck is this happening!" I screamed as loud as I could, I didn't care if people could hear, everything was falling apart in my life, and I don't know what to do anymore.

My deepest secrets have been released, things the public shouldn't know, I'm not strong enough for this, I need to get myself together, I needed time before anyone knew about this, it wasn't meant to be a public thing, I couldn't help but feel like I was going no where.

I needed to get out of this place in my life, I need to do something to make me feel better, Harry was part of it, I knew what I had to do though, I needed to start my piano playing back up, it always helped me get through the darkest of my days, it made me happy when I thought I never would be again, it made me get out of a pit that I thought I was stuck in forever.

I slowly got up, I needed to explain things to Harry, I needed to talk to him, he is the only other person in my life besides Niall who hasn't left me, they have always believed in me, even Zayn has left me now for Aphrodite, someone that would probably break his heart, but I was going to be the old Jaycee, the strong one that didn't let every ones words get to her, that is who I need to be. and that's who I am going to be.

I walked through the door, everyone sitting on the couch, they all ran towards me engulfing me in hugs, "Jaycee, we saw the article, we are so sorry" Niall said, the thing is, I never told Niall about me self harming, I was ashamed because of my parents but I realised that I shouldn't be, it wasn't my fault, none of this was, I had done nothing "it's alright Ni" I said into his warm embrace, the other boys gave me their individual hugs, making me feel a whole lot better.

"Jay, have you looked at your twitter recently?" Harry said looking down at his phone,

"no, I'm to afraid of what I'll find" I said sheepishly,

"well, go look now," he said his eyes wide

I hesitantly pulled out my laptop from the side table, "is it something that will make me feel worse than I already do?" I asked Harry who was still scrolling down his time line,

"just look Jay" he said not removing his gaze

"fine" I pulled up my twitter, the first thing I saw was a trend, 'Jacee is strong' I was amazed, I was in the number one trending spot, I went to my mention and an overwhelming amount of support poured in

'Jaycee is strong, I can't believe the whole time we thought she was happy she was dealing with this'

'why people treat good people bad I don't understand Jaycee is strong, except that'

I read on, retweeting all the tweets I could, following every person I could until my hands were aching "I can't believe this" I said a tear falling from my eye

then I came across a tweet that made my heart stop ' ddlovato: Jaycee Horan is amazingly strong those people that hurt you, are weak, you fought through it, just like I did, if you ever need someone I'm here' I was amazed, had my roll model really just said that

"what is it?" Harry said nervously,

"look for yourself" I said turning the computer towards him, his eyes grew wide, he knew just how important Demi Lovato was to me, so I'm guessing he knew what I was feeling

"I told you that you're strong, even your idol thinks so" he said grabbing me and planting kisses all over my face, the other boys looked at it and were just as happy for me,

"maybe I can make it through this" I said with a smile, just then Hope came walking in, Nicole who was sitting next to Niall froze and had a glare on her face

"Hope, we really need to talk" I said tapping my foot, she looked at me and nodded

"what's going on, you haven't even talked to me since I was kidnapped, you aren't around any of us, you go making new friends and then hangout with them," I snapped

"Jaycee calm down, I'm just really confused, you were kidnapped I know, I feel awful for not talking to you, I just couldn't get myself to for some reason," she said looking down with fake sympathy "besides you were with Harry the whole time" she snapped letting her act slip,

"Hope, Harry is my everything, he is the only reason I have been getting through all of this" I said calmly

"Well maybe if you weren't being such a slut and fucking guys in a field you wouldn't have to deal with anything!" she screamed at me, I was shocked, she had never talked to me like that, I snapped out of it quickly though

"Hope, Harry and I were not 'fucking'" I said putting quotes around the word 'fucking'

"oh really then what were you doing? Playing with Lego's?" she said sarcastically

"no!" I snapped "were were making love, because we are in love" and with that I walked off, smirking at how shocked Hope's face was, she new that I had never had sex until Harry. but she still had the audacity to say I was being a slut.

"Alright guys, that's the last of our things" Liam said grabbing our bags, they had their concert tonight here in Doncaster, and then we moved to the next town over, Nicole was coming to the concert, but I was sad, after this we probably wouldn't get to see each other.

"I promise after this we will still see each other, best friends forever" I said smiling at her

"did you really think you were going to get rid of met that easily?" she said amused, I looked at her and laughed

"nope!" I said cheerfully popping the 'p'. I loved going to the boys concerts, but I could go without sitting on this tour bus, I knew tonight was going to be fun since we were going to have a lot of support with it being Louis' home town and everything.

We arrived at the arena and I smiled at Nicole "lets do this" I said as she stared up at the huge building Hope behind us, hand in hand with Niall, I heard her scoff as I talked with Nicole

"lets!" she said as she linked her arm with mine. Yup definitely going to be a good night.