The Girl & the Car

Chapter 7

The rain was pattering over the ceiling. I looked around and found Andy had gone. I sat up and found that all ailments of mine had vanished. I sat up some more.

Why was this happening to me all of a sudden? What on God's green earth had bestowed upon me the gift of well-being? What the hell am I saying right now?

I shook my thoughts away and looked to the window where the rain had begun gushing off the sides. I cleared away some of the mist of the window and smiled at the rain.  How could I join the pitter-patter that is the rain? I just wanted to be there to enjoy it.

A figure suddenly appeared from the fog and stood a petite woman standing in the rain with her arms raised to the heavens. Her long flowing hair had been soaked and looked mangled and wet. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of someone enjoying the rain as much as I could. The figure turned around and smiled right back at me.

It was Andy.

Stepping closer to the window,  I pressed my hands to it and watched as she sauntered to me giving off her devilish smirk that drives me nuts. As she arrived at the window she placed her hand upon the window right where my right hand was. The glass between us heated and fogged over. It felt as though the glass had been concealing me from her.

The rain continued. It grew harder and harder which made her turn away from me. "Don't leave," I muttered, hoping there was a slight chance she heard me. She didn't. She took a couple of steps away walking back into the pouring rain.

I had to go to her. I just had to. I leaped into action trying to find my way out of the bright white hospital room. Searching and searching, and I came up with nothing. The more I searched, the more I began to lose hope. The hope of returning to my Andy. I found myself turning up with something completely predictable. Nothing. Just my luck. Hoping to see, to hold the one thing keeping me in this treacherous world, and returning with nothing. Is that what I have to give to her? Nothing?

I sat down in the middle of the room. I give. I couldn't do it. I gave a glimpse of the window. Hoping to get another glance at her. Hoping she could just return to the window. Hoping I could touch her beautiful face. Hoping for something. Hoping to give her more than nothing. How could I hope when all hope was lost long ago? It left when Emma left. It left when Kennedy left. It left when all I could do at that dumb party was mope. It's gone.

Closing my eyes for another minute, I shook my head at how pathetic I am. I'm no mystery. I'm a pathetic thespian who can't handle what it means to be a man. To love a woman right. To be me. So many times I get to wander off into 'Westinland', or so my mom would say,  and I don't want to come back. I can be anyone. I can say anything. I can do everything. But how can I be a mystery if I can't be me?

Now my hands covered my face. I couldn't seem and I didn't want to be. I just wanted to sit and wallow in my thoughts.

Tap. Tap.

I looked up and saw the best thing I could ever see. I saw my Andy standing there in all her beauty tapping at my window.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

She kept tapping. Why was she doing that? What could she possibly be trying to say?

Tap. Tap tap. Tap.

I don't understand.

Tap tap. Tap tap tap. Tap.

I stood up abruptly and watched her face begin to worry more than my own had been. She looked at her right hand for just a moment letting it sink in, I guess. She smiled and placed her right hand on the window. Her eyes met mine as she did so, she didn't break eye contact.

Tap. Tap. Tap.

She tapped with her left. I sighed and blew on the window. As the fog from my exasperated breath appeared, my hand took over and wrote down a message.

'Let me hold you.' Is all I wrote. She watched me write this and smiled. That smile moved into a slick smirk. She tapped once more and instantly I could see the glass break lightly under her finger. She took a step back and stood in the rain. Oh, how I wanted to join her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and let her soak in all of my love. I wanted her.

I smirked back at her trying to keep my cool. My eyes, on the other hand, remained in a whole state of puppy dog eyes of desperation. I placed my finger atop the crack in the glass. I could feel everything I was leaving behind.

"Westin!" A very familiar voice called behind me. "Get away from that! You'll break it." I turned around and saw my mother in front of me. I looked down at myself seeing the small body I once obtained. I looked around finding the pet store my mom owned.

"Yeah don't want Mommy to smack you." Teenage Horton said tapping away on the phone he just acquired from mom the previous week. I remembered this moment perfectly. My dad had just walked out on Mom. She dragged us to her little pet store downtown because our school let us out early and she had no one to keep an eye on Horton and me so we wouldn't get in a fight.

"Horton!" Mom scolded him. I chuckled at the argument between my brother and mom. I was only 7 at the time and everything seemed either funny, cool, or scary. Most of the time I didn't talk, which concerned my mom, but she kept telling my teachers that eventually I'd speak up.

"What?!? It's true." Horton retaliated without looking up from his phone. For a 13-year-old nerd, he sure was a douche.

"Can you just go take Westin to get some ice cream down the street?" My mom sighed, obviously tearing up. I looked at my mother with grievance spread wide. I just wanted to hold my mother's hand at that moment. I reached up to grab hold of my mother's frail and chapped hand.

Just as I was to connect with my mother's palm, I was ripped away by my sleeve. I kept pulling back to reach my mom. "Mommy." I cried. She whipped around and grabbed me by my shoulders. I just stared at my mother. What else was I supposed to do?

Her beautiful vibrant green eyes bore into mine as she smiled. "Say that again, baby." She smiled even wider. I turned my head to the side and dropped my shoulders. "It's okay, sweetie. You just speak when you feel like it. I will always love you. No matter what." She grabbed me and wrapped her skinny arms underneath my armpits and over my shoulders.

I was feeling my mom's love and affection. The same affection I had been missing for about 5 years. I just wanted to be in this moment forever.

I closed my eyes and let her hold me. I couldn't help myself as it felt so real. But it wasn't real. I opened my eyes again and I was staring up at the cold ceiling of the hospital room. The only difference was that I wasn't alone. There in my arms laid Andy. She looked so helpless as she slept. My neck twitched as I looked down at her and I had to bite down in my lip to prevent myself from screaming. The pain passed and I then pulled Andy closer into my embrace.