Katniss and Peeta: For you

Memories

Haymitch POV 

I close the door behind us, locking it. You can never be to careful. Especially after what's happened. To us, to me.

I turn to face Effie, and suddenly, I am overwhelmed by a flashback to our last meeting.

Katniss's try had just finished, I was taking her home. Effie saw us off. 

She told me to take care, and then... I kissed her.

I just leaned in and kissed her.

Her lips were soft, they tasted like cherries and lavender. not overpowering, soft and sweet.

And now here we are, two weeks later. Standing in silence. I want to hold her, I want caress her beautiful face and tell her what she means to me.

But instead, I trudge to the kitchen grabbing a bottle of whiskey on the way.

"Haymitch?"

Effie followed me.

"Yeah?" I say, pulling the cap off the bottle.

"I thought you stopped drinking when we were in thirteen." Effie says, crossing her arms.

"Old habits die hard." I burp.

I can already feel the liquor coursing through me, it makes me feel alive. 

"Haymitch!" Effie says. grabbing my hands.

Slowly she massages my hands until the bottle slips through my fingers to the floor, shattering on impact. Neither of us seem to notice.

"Talk to me." Effie says softly. I can see tears in her eyes.

"It helps me." I say gruffly.

Effie guides me into a kitchen seat, she tilts my head up. Forcing me to look at her.

"Helps with what Haymitch?" She says.

I remember the day I met Effie. Sort of, I was drunk that day. The old escort Marania had retired, leaving me with Effie.

She was like any other capitol citizen. An extravagant silver wig and a gold dress covered with silver pearls.

She annoyed me so much back then, her a capital citizen had no idea what it was like to struggle.

But so much had changed since then.

Now we have Katniss and Peeta with us. Now we have weathered through a rebellion, experiencing horrible things.

"Haymitch?" Prompts Effie.

"It hurts." I say, my voice turning into a whimper near the end.

"What hurts Haymitch?" Her voice flat, she was running out of patience.

"You haven't been here Effie." I say, trying to keep the anger out of my voice as I reach for a new bottle. "You haven't been here, you haven't seen  one of Peeta's flashbacks and you haven't woken up to the sound of Katniss screaming from her house."

"They're that bad?" Effie says, slapping my hand away from the bottle. "They haven't made any improvement?"

I shake my head. "Katniss can't even sleep without having a nightmare, and Peeta...He's been struggling, it's hard for him to figure out what's real or not."

"The poor boy." Effie gasps.

"And Peeta's been having...attacks."

"Attacks?" Effie says, confusion spreading across her face

"Its when...when..." I stammer. "Its when he's fighting the venom, he starts shaking and groaning. Effie its awful."

"Haymitch, why didn't you write to me?" Effie asks, "I would of come sooner."

"Didn't want to worry you." I say simply.

"Well now I'm even more worried!" Effie exclaims. "Happy now?"

We sit there. Silently, not looking at each other.

"I don't know how to help them Effie." I say finally "I want to help them, they seem so lost, but I don't know how."

"Just be there for them Haymitch. Make sure they know they're not alone."

"How?" I say hoarsely. 

Effie smiles sadly. "Just be there Haymitch, hug them, talk to them, that's all you can do right now."

"That won't help Effie!" I say angrily. "I am talking to them, I am being there! I've even taken to visiting Katniss's house at night, because I know she's having a nightmare! But they're not getting better!"

Effie teared up at this. "Haymitch..." she says

"They're kids Effie." I say. my voice a whimper. "They're just kids, they can't deal with this shit. The shouldn't need to be dealing with this shit!"

Effie takes my hands in hers. "I know, you're right, they've been through so much. But they aren't alone Haymitch, we're here, and we can help them,  I know its hard, buts its all we can do for now."

                                       "I just wish I could do more."