Ocean

why you

Who truly loves you will mention your name in their prayers

^ Axel ^

"I think I've seen you guys somewhere before. Have we met?" Faith broke the silence, the others and I looking at her in curiosity. 

Oh shit. She probably knows who Ryan and I are now. "I don't think so," I denied nervously.

"Tamara, remember those two ugly guys from middle school?" Faith asked the brunette, giggling

Tamara replied, trying not to laugh, "Yeah, the ones who fell from the stairs."

I raised my eyebrows at Faith. "We're obviously going to get along now," I sarcastically challenged her, "Is that how you flirt with guys?"

"Chill Axel, it's just a joke," Tamara tried to calm the situation down since Faith's face was completely fucking red and looked like she was going to explode.

"I would slap you right now, but that would be animal abuse," Faith spat.

Ryan interrupted our arguing. "Guys, this isn't exactly the best timing for fighting. When we manage to get rescued, you can quarrel as much as you want, but just not now." 

Tamara spoke up, "Ryan's right, let's just focus on staying alive for now. We know nothing about this island, much less about the time we're going to spend here. Hell, we don't even know each other."

We spent the next few moments in silence again. I was relieved when what Faith said turned out to be a joke, and that she actually didn't know who Ryan and I were. I got angry rather suddenly because she's the only girl that has ever made fun of me before.

I observed Faith. Her movements, the way she talks, the way she acts, her smile... Her smile, god, it stole my heart from the stars. Oh crap, what am I thinking? I can't have a crush on her, much less in love. We've only known each other for 4 days, but the mere sight of her makes my heart flutter. 

Even though her clothes are dirty, she somehow looks beautiful all the time. I've seen a lot of pretty girls around me, so why does she stand out? Why does she occupy my thoughts most of the time I'm awake?

^ Faith ^ 

 After Axel replied to me, I was so furious I felt like I was going to blow up. I know I would get along with Ryan, but Axel is such an asshole! We will never stop fighting, I swear. The guy can't even take a fucking joke!

Since it happened, I hated apologizing and showing weakness in front of people. I despised the fact people pitied me. Plus, I hated all men and promised myself never to trust any of them.

We've been on this island for about a week already. Nothing much really happened, well except for one thing.  you know when you get your period in the worst timing?

Yep, I just did. Thank the gods I brought some pads with me in my bag.

So yesterday, I was looking for one in the bag me and Tamara shared

Even though it was pretty messy, I finally found them. I inwardly hoped no one saw them.

 "Girls problem " I heard Axel's voice from behind me

 I felt the heat in my face once again. "Uh, I-I need to, uhm, go..." 

"Go ahead, I never said you couldn't," Axel spoke, a small smile on his face.

As I was walking away, I heard Axel laughing from afar, and faced him. You could recognize his sweet, mirthful laugh from miles away. He had this laugh that had enough energy to light up a whole town. No, the entire world.

"Faith. Faith. Faith!" Axel called amusedly, waving his hand in front of his face. That's when I realized I've been staring at him the whole time. He's an asshole, why was I thinking about him?

I started pacing away from Axel again when he stopped me. "Hey, wait, I have a question."

Looking back at him, I raised my eyebrows. "What?"

"What's so important about the book you lost at the airport?"

"How did you know about it?" I asked, confused. Was he the unknown man who gave it back?

The answer he gave just confirmed my suspicions. "I helped you find it," Axel replied, raising his eyebrows back at me.

I didn't give him any reaction, continuing to make my way towards the woods. "Yeah well, I would rather keep that to myself. I gotta go now." Forcing a smile at him, I left.

Sitting under the tree I've been resting by since we've arrived at the island, I replayed what had just happened in my head. This was the first remotely friendly conversation I had with Axel.

He kind of ruined my dreams and fantasies when I figured he was Super-Superman. I have been writing about him the whole time! I had hoped that the unnamed hero could be my other half, my knight in white armour.

People might think I was crazy, but my diary really means a lot to me.  The fact that my hero was Axel, just scares the hell out of me, since I have been praying and hoping that Super-Superman and I would meet and fall in love with each other. Even if I ended up falling in love with Axel, he wouldn't feel the same.

He hates me. 

Everyone hates me.

I looked at the ocean, tears racing down my cheeks. A picture of my mother popped into my head. I've never needed her as much as I do now.

 I remember asking my mother what love was.

"Humans can't fall in love in merely a day, not even a month or a year. It needs to have conflict, some bumps in the road. A long relationship, perhaps. You can't say that you love the sea when you're still standing by the shore. You have to dive deep. Feel the stones and jagged rocks scratching against the bottoms of your feet, your ankles. See the true darkness beneath the deceptive surface of the waters. Taste the salty water against your tongue. That's when you can decide if you love the ocean or not."