recollection | ✓

i.

anniversary.

the breeze gave out the whiff of seaweed and salt that lisa could almost taste it in her tongue, she ventured closer and closer to the sea. she stopped, only to kick off her shoes and feel the grainy texture of the sand against her sole.

she kept her eyes closed as she breathed in and moved closer to the water. she let herself drown to the sound of the waves crashing against each other, the bubble of the water as it kissed the shore, then all these white noise faded and she started hearing giggles, so sweet and soaked in blissful ignorance of what the future holds.

•

"i don't think i could ever leave this place,"

"why would you, it's sunny, breezy and happy san francisco?"

"i don't have it in me, really."

"is it because you'd miss me?"

"yeah, you're san franciso..."

"i'm pretty sure i'm lalisa."

the brunette scrunched her nose up and pushed lisa playfully.

"hey!"

"you're such a dork!"

lisa then pushed her in return and it was a back and forth until giggles erupted and one of them tripped on the sand and stumbled to the ground while holding the other close, falling to the ground together. together.

"nini, it's okay if you'd leave, you know?"

in return the girl hummed, letting the giggle die down in her mouth, and lisa moved closer to her and buried her face against her neck.

"but i don't want to, not when you're not with me."

"i suppose i'm just that awesome, huh?"

"the awesomest, lili" jennie said in a baby voice.

"is there even such a word, baby girl?"

she pouted and nodded vigorously, it made lisa's heart ache. how could someone be too adorable?

•

it made lisa's heart ache. how could someone change too much, how could words full of meaning turn into empty promises, how could someone be so in love and suddenly fall out of it, how could someone just decide it's over?

these were questions that kept lisa awake at night, wondering where she could have gone wrong, if she could have convinced jennie that it would work, they could make it work.

distance was supposed to make the heart grow fonder, but it just tore them apart. distance creates a gap, pushes two people away from each other, the tether loosening until it's cut off by the harshness of reality. distance could be lethal if the other half wasn't strong enough, no matter how strong the remaining half of the whole was.

she should feel bitter and angry, especially in the anniversary of their break up, of when jennie gave up on her and them.

the only thing left to do was wipe her tears away with the back of her hand because no one was going to do that for her anymore.

"i thought you don't have it in you?" she whispered to the sea, but no one answered, it was only the sound of the waves, the flapping of the seagull's flock as they passed above her, and the sigh of disappointment which left her lips.

— // —

note:
btw, the italicized parts are flashbacks. just want to make that clear. ✌🏽