The Divine Demon (Good Omens, Crowley x OC)

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Crowley
I had to get out of there before I burned the damn place down. The audacity that bloke had to comment on Ava's figure. She's fucking beautiful, he must be blind.

My chest heaved up and down. All I can think about is how I'd like to send the damn waiter into Hell, and let Hastur take care of him. I hate Hastur, but he does know how to properly deal with people.

Ava doesn't know this, but before we left the restaurant, I brought the seafood back to life, and tempted the business men into cheating on their wives. Hell will have them in a few years. I hear people screaming and I imagine the look on their faces when the lobster on their plate moves.

Outside of our hotel room sits a cart with bottles of Chevalier-Montrachet, Carruades de Lafite, Château Cheval Blanc, Moscatel Vino Dulce, and even a bottle of Krug Grande Cuvée champagne. If I had known they felt this bad, I would've asked for more. You never have too much alcohol.

The food is literally served on a silver platter. A bit extravagant, if you ask me. I rolled the cart into the room, the bottles clanking loudly. I snapped my fingers and two wine glasses appeared.

Ava waved them off. "Ah, fuck that. Give me a damn bottle." She popped the top off of the Moscatel Vino Dulce sweet wine and took a swig.

Before I get wasted, I need to say something. "Ava, you're beautiful. There's nothing wrong with your body. Besides, celestial beings don't need food to survive. We don't really gain weight." I attempted to make her feel better.

"Crowley, I'm fine, really. I appreciate it though. I guess that explains why I never had a big appetite, I never need food!" She wrapped her arms around me and I did the same to her. Ava pulled away, our faces inches apart, and she leaned in to kiss me. Her lips tasted like the wine.

"Mmmm." I mumbled.

She broke the kiss and shouted excitedly, "Now let's get hammered!"

— three and a half bottles later —

Ava
Crowley and I are absolutely smashed. I learned that I'm a lightweight, a few drinks gets in and I'm ready to do anything. Currently, we're dancing around like idiots in our dinner clothes and singing along to Queen's Hammer To Fall. Well, more like screaming rather than singing.

"What the hell are we fighting for?" I sang loudly, using the wine bottle as a microphone.

Crowley continued after me, "Ah, just surrender and it won't hurt at all!" He screamed.

"You just got time to say your prayers!" I shouted after him.

"Yeah, while you're waiting for the hammer to, hammer to fall!" We sang the last verse together.

We both played air guitar as we jumped around on the bed and chairs.

The song ended and we plopped down on the bed breathing heavily as a result of the concert we just performed.

"That wassss one hell of a show." Crowley slurred while breathing slowly to catch his breath.

"Yeah, we ssshould do thisss more often." I replied, mocking him.

He sat up on his elbows and looked at me. "Are you mocking me?" He gasped and placed a hand on his chest to add dramatic effect.

"Maybeeeeeee!" I giggled playfully.

Next thing I know, my hands are pinned above my head and our faces are inches apart.