Pain & Pleasure

Part 13: Long time no see

The day was only nearing its afternoon, yet Esmeralda wondered how is she going to get through the rest of it.

She couldn't decide whether it was prudent or not to act so obviously hurt in front of Sebastian, when he was just trying to end that awkward and nagging situation. Obviously, the response he gave perplexed the Chairman just enough to make him stop asking questions and release her.

Nevertheless, she couldn't help but let this ugly, sordid feeling creep into her guts. It wouldn't go away no matter how hard Esmeralda tried to shake it off. Being compared to a concubine disgusted her to a high extent, especially his concubine. Not because she hated him – God no – she could never do that, but because she couldn't place her mind in a state to think of him and herself engaging in something so distasteful and degrading as concubine "duties".

Maybe that was because whenever she did think of something like that, it was beautiful and sensuous, in the way that made Esmeralda's cheeks heat pleasantly. But now, her imagination was tainted with wretched and demeaning images that kept nagging on her mind.

She reached the hedge maze she first visited when Sebastian had just brought her here. She didn't frequent the place too much, because she was always afraid she would get lost, even after all these years. Yet today she didn't care at all as she headed straight into the maze before finally reaching its center, after countless twists and turns.

Before seating herself at the marble bench, she gazed at the trickling fountain for a bit. She let the sunrays reflecting from the streams blind her eyes and help her forget what happened not even a full hour ago.

As she sat there, she wasn't thinking about Sebastian searching for her. She wasn't sure she even wanted to be found, and there was a tiny hope inside her that she would lose her way in the maze and never go back and not have to deal with anyone else again.

"Alda," she heard him say.

She startled and almost turned to look at him, but restrained herself at the last second, hanging her head down even more and staring at her skirted knees instead.

She was basically shaking in anticipation of his words as he sat down next to her.

Yet, Sebastian sat beside her and was suddenly stripped of the gift of speech as he regarded her. She really was hurt, and he hated himself for making her feel that way.

In this moment he realized that no matter how he sees her – as a pawn in his game, as a mean to get absolute power – he still is undeniably infatuated with every bit of her.

He also realized that his momentous master plan that he's been scheming for more than a decade now will end in two ways only – either he becomes the sovereign of every living creature in this world and destroys all of his enemies, or he doesn't kill anyone and gives up his consuming ambitions and chooses her.

But then, the third option presented itself – what if he combines both options and gets a new one? What if he convinces Alda to rule with him, to walk the earth beside him as an equal creature of the night?

Together they would be, without question, invincible.

He realized he's been silent for some time, having been insensibly thrown into some unknown realm deep in his mind, when his lack of words made Esmeralda slightly turn her head towards him.

He extended his arm towards her face in attempt to turn her gaze to look directly at him, yet the moment his porcellaneous skin touched hers she turned her face in other direction and scooted further away from him.

Somewhere deep in his frozen heart, another crack appeared.

"Stop," she exclaimed. "Stop acting like you actually feel something for me. You always do this – you... woo me in so many ways, and everytime I fall for it. And in the end, I get called a concubine."