•Good Omens Oneshots•

"It's perfume."

~These are a few funny situations that Azi and Crowly would get into and I thought it would be fun to write them. Some of these are based on John Mulaney by the way as well.~

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I sat sprawled out on Aziraphale's couch in his little bookshop. We had just come from a restaurant and I had decided to accompany the angel for a while. His shop was closed as he shuffled about, picking fallen books off from the floor and tidying things in shelves. Soft opera played as Aziraphale hummed and worked. I sighed and leaned my head back, as I did so I spotted a very elegant bottle resting just in arms reach.

I stretched to grab it and held it in my hands as I inspected the liquid that swished inside. "Angel?" I called out.

Aziraphale turned and saw the bottle I held in my hands, his eyebrows furrowed as I twisted off the cap.

"You never told me you had this fancy drink waiting for me?" I said as I looked at him.

"Erm, I don't think you should drink it, I'm afraid that I don't know whether its perfume or an actual consumable drink," said he as he stared at me.

I shrugged and began chugging the drink. After finishing the last of it, I inhaled a quick breath as my throat burned. "It's a perfume I'm afraid," I announced as I wiped at my mouth and tossed the now empty bottle to Aziraphale.

The angel stared at me with a flabbergasted look as his expression creased in astonishment. "I- er, you... dran- you just drank perfume!" He stammered in dismay.

"I believe I just did, nasty thing, perfume..." I said as I smacked my lips and stared at the dazed angel.

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