How a bird gained freedom

Chapter 4: For Love

"Good morning beautiful" Evan wakes me up with this lovely text

"You just woke me up, won't you tell me something?"

"Tell you what my lovely."

"Wish me a happy Eid."

"Eid, I thought you're deist you don't celebrate it."

"Yeah I'm deist, but Eid here is like Christmas in Australia. I celebrate all holidays, Eid, Christmas, Easter, Ramadan and other holidays. Besides my family is not deist like me."

"Oh, got it now babe."

"What training were you talking about a couple of days ago?"

"I do mixed martial arts and boxing. I train every day."

"No wonder you are so muscular. I want to see you; do you have new pictures for me?"

"Yeah, here are some pictures from my cousins wedding. Someday it will be you and me getting married my love."

"You look so handsome! Hahaha I can't wait for that. I'm going to get ready now bye."

I can't wait to go to Australia and be with Evan, and marry him in the future! for love I will cross seas and oceans. for love I will leave my family behind, and for love I will never return back to the place that made me feel caged. Being in love is like being high on drugs. the brain seriously functions the same way in both cases.

i can not believe that im actually disturbing my holiday by doing some of the many homework i have. With what should I start? how about the practice oral commentary, that should be easy. First, I have to choose one of Langston Hughes's poems and analyze it. Im going to choose the poem titled "cultural exchange". Its actually one of my favorite poems of Langston Hughes. it of course talks about racial equality and segregation between white and black Americans back in the 1960s, but what really catches my interest in it is that Hughes provides an alternative scenario to how the world would be if black people had more power. i kind of relate to him in some ways. Firstly and most importantly, I don’t feel that i have power like the speaker in most of his poems.

I'm not going to finish the oral commentary now, I get bored easily and besides I need some tranquil time.

I go to the living room, and I slowly throw my body on the soft brown sofa and turn on the TV. Nothing interesting seems to be on tv at the moment. I flip from Chanel to another until I lye my eyes on MTV's catfish show. I love it! it is so interesting, and it kind of reminds me of myself. it's a really popular reality TV show, and it's basically about people that fall in love over the Internet, and they want to meet. The show host helps those couples to meet. Sometimes the couples are completely honest to one another, and other times one of the people in love lies about his or her identity. Some of the clues they use on the show to know whether the person is honest or being a catfish is through searching him online and if he or she never got on camera for the other side then this is a red flag.

Evan never got on camera love for me! What if he is cat fishing me! no it can't be possible I have a gut feeling that he's honest because he is happy to meet me in a few years and he wants to marry me. I also googled him a couple of times and inverse searched his pictures and i found nothing about him that proves he's not trust worthy. He doesn't have any social media accounts which people might say is a red flag, but guess what i also don't have any social media accounts, this so far everything is normal. The most devastating event in my life would be if I came to Australia to meet him and he is not who he says he is! I wish that won't happen though. This reminds me of a movie a watched a while ago called trust. the movie is also about a teen girl that falls for a guy online and when they meet the guy turns out to be 40 years old not 20 like he told her, and he rapes her!

The Internet can be scary sometimes, but some people especially parents over react to it being creepy and dangerous. People just have to be aware using the Internet, other than that I see it as a completely normal and not so creepy thing.

The Eid holiday comes to an end. I have to wake up really early every morning to go back to school again. it's frustrating! Why can't they make school at like 10 am at least I would get more sleep then and I would actually be more awake and prepared for my classes. My parents sometimes tell me that I should feel privileged that I go to the school I currently go to. It’s actually true, my school is huge and has really good education compared to other schools in Jordan.

At school, I told my best friend Farah about my long distance relationship with Evan. at first it was kind of a shock for her to take in what I said. but after a while she thought it was cute and adorable, and that it would be perfect when I go to Australia and be with him although she will miss me a lot by then. Farah is a short girl, and her height sometimes annoys her but she learned to embrace it. I sometimes envy her for her beautiful big hazel green eyes, with long eyelashes that are always coated with black mascara.

Farah has been my best friend since a really long time. I always tell her everything and she sometimes does as well, but what annoys me about her is that this year her relative came from the USA to our school and I'm kind of turning into the third wheel. It's not a big feel though. I sometimes feel sorry for her because her mom controls almost everything. Farah isn't good at physics and such subjects, but her mom forced her to take physics and chemistry at school. in like daily life and going out and stuff, I admit that she has much more freedom than I do.

It's a good thing my mom never force me to take physics. I'm terrible at it! I remember this one time in ninth grade when everyone was forced by the school to take all subjects, that in physics class, we took a lesson about momentum, and the teacher kept explaining it for so long. and until now, I still have no idea what momentum is. I'm not stupid, but physics is just not my thing. I get really good grades at most subjects I take this year because I chose them and I like them. lets see, i always get full marks at economics and psychology , i get good grades at English, Arabic, and math. Oh everything is good but chemistry. Im an art diploma student, but still I have to choose one science so i chose chemistry thinking that its easy but it’s actually not. I have a tutor for chemistry though. So I guess i should be fine at it.

I once told Evan that i have a tutor for chemistry, and that he comes to my house to tutor me every Thursday. Evan then told me that he’s worried that the tutor would fall in love with me or touch me, because he says that im really pretty and hot, although i don’t see myself that way. he also told me that if he was tutoring me and married like my actual tutor, he would betray his wife for me, and he would grab my hand and make me feel how hard he is down there! at first I Kim of felt awkward when he said that, but then I found it ordinary because we do sext sometimes but not a lot. Although I told him that when I come to Australia we might not have sex because its considered a taboo here and if we did have sex before marriage and people in Jordan knee about it I might get killed! Like seriously killed or buried alive.

I don't really think that it should be a taboo or something to be ashamed of. It’s a normal thing now days. Evan and I talked about all of that, and he said that he won't force me to do it if I don't want to. It’s all up to me. He is ready to give up his sexual pleasures for me and for love!