Her Dark Mind

Chapter I

*Jamilah P.O.V*

The Crescent-moon pack. My home, my family, full of the people I love and would lay my life down for in a second. Of course the one time I didn't was also the time I lost everything at only 12 years of age. Like switching off a light in a once blindingly bright room.

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I was having a day out with my best friend, Caroline the Alphas daughter, and my mum the Betas wife, along with Caroline's mum the Luna. We were heading home when rogues jumped us. Our mothers stepped in instantly, shifting into their wolf forms to protect me and Caroline. There were just too many of them to handle no matter how strong a Luna and a wife of a Beta may be, we heard a whine to our right and that's when we saw a rogue with its jaw tight around the Luna's neck.

Her body went limp in the rogue's mouth and Caroline shook next to me, her sobbing reaching a point of no control with pain swirling in her ocean eyes. This had given the rogues time to jump at my mother while she was distracted, her yelp is what pulled us from our trance, Caroline and I turned our attention towards the horrific scene of my mother with her throat getting ripped out by the rogues, blood quickly spilling in a dark pool around her. Caroline began bawling, she fell to her knees and sobbed hysterically. While I was frozen in my place, unable to move, not wanting to believe what just happened.

The rogues then looked our way as if remembering we were there and let out vicious snarls. We both jumped and I was taken back to reality from my hazed state while Caroline stumbled to her feet, still in hysterics. But before the rogues could attack us we all heard two loud howl's, followed by a chorus of low howls. Our pack.

Realising the first two were from the Alpha and the Beta the rogues visibly stiffened, backing away slowly. In a matter of seconds we watched our pack immerge from the thick forest of shrubs and tall, dark trees, shifting as they did back into their human forms. They stormed over to us, eyes softening painfully at the sight of my mother and Luna lying lifeless on the ground. The warriors of our pack wasted no time jumping at the remaining rogues killing them swiftly, though still making a mess of them.

When the rogues were dead on the ground near my mother and the Luna, everyone then looked our way as the Alpha ground out "what the hell happened here?" in a dark tone I've never heard him use before. Could make a grown man shit himself.

"T-the rogues attacked as w-we were heading home" I managed to sputter out.

"And you didn't think to help them or at least try to get help!?" He grumbled.

At this point, I wasn't sure if my legs would be able to hold me up much longer as fear incased my heart making it a pounding, off-beat mess. What were they going to do? They just lost their mates and I read somewhere that it's one of the most painful things to happen to a wolf, being rejected is heart wrenchingly painful in itself, but to lose them to death in this way destroys you mentally and not many wolves come back from that, you're bound for life after all. "It was all Jamilah's fault! She could've done something as I was clearly unstable to, but no, she left them to be murdered by those monsters!" I heard Caroline shriek breaking the deathly silence that was quick to settle.

"What? How were you unstable to help? I was just as in shock as you were and how could I have helped? Look at me! we both haven't shifted yet and we're only twelve so I don-" I started to yell but was cut off by my father. If looks could kill I'd be six-feet-under.

"Shut the fuck up Jamilah. You let them die! You wanted us to suffer, didn't you? You wanted us to all suffer. Why? What did any of us ever do to you but care for you? You murderer." My dad spat and after every word my heart felt heavier and heavier. A weight was being pressed onto my shoulders and more were constantly being stacked, endlessly. Until the only word I could hear echoing through my mind was "murderer". I'm a murderer. 

"but...I...wha- how...I didn't do-" I stuttered trying to speak but the words kept getting caught in my throat. Why is this happening? What is going on? Please make it end.

I heard a growl to my left "You runt...You have the nerve to still try and deny what you have done, you will pay for everything" Ace too? Everyone's mad at me. Everything's falling a part.

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After this incident occurred I became an outcast, hated by my very own pack who once loved me unconditionally and I them, even the omegas. My 'brother' and 'father' now hated me, my brother ignored my existence while my father hurt me the most out of everyone.

I'm used to it though, I mean it has almost been 4 years, I'm turning 16 in a week along with my brother as we're twins. He's roughly a day and a half older so he'll shift before me, this has been keeping me on edge as wolves tend to be overrun with emotions after shifting, knowing Zenix he will most likely be overpowered by aggression. I'm not as strong as everyone else because the pack won't let me train with them so I don't know anything about protecting myself, the chances of being able to even fight back is overwhelmingly low.

"Get up!"

I am excited to see my wolf though, I'll finally have someone to talk to again and someone who will listen. Understand me. Accept me. That's all I've ever wanted for the past few years, as much as I don't mind being alone, there is still a part of me that craves to be cared for and loved again.

A cold void that longs for warm light to caress it once again. Flicking on that light in that now dusty and old, dark room.

"Get the fuck up!"

Holy shit, what is that incessant noise!?

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Thank you so much for even reading the first chapter! 

I am in the process of updating all of the current chapters (roughly only 14). Then I plan to continue with the story that I started back in 2018 when I was only 13, hopefully improving it, now its 2023 and I went and graduated from high school last year.

I hope you you guys enjoy <3