9 - Zoe the Angel

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Warning for self harm and kinda suicidal/depressed thoughts

Sometimes being the poster child for good girls gets to you, okay? That's why I did it. That's why I won't take off my jacket. That's why I've never been more cautious playing guitar for jazz band.

"Zoe is perfect!" they say. "She's beautiful, and her brother is the worst!"

Maybe I just want to prove them wrong. Maybe Zoe Murphy isn't perfect.

***

Evan looked down at his cast. Connor had written his name on it, in huge, messy font. Evan couldn't explain the butterflies he felt in his stomach when it happened. The same ones that he got every time he talked to Connor. Evan couldn't explain the butterflies in his stomach he felt when it happened. The same feeling he got every time he talked to Connor. It was similar to anxiety, but it was more of an urge to kiss him.

That's what Evan was thinking about, sitting on a park bench, all alone. He put his head in his hands. He had never really considered his sexuality aside from knowing that girls were pretty and so was Connor. He felt his phone vibrate with a text from Connor.

420: Come over Ev

TreeBitch: What for?

420: Bored and suicidal

TreeBitch: Okay I'll see you in a few minutes

420: <33333 Ok Evan

Evan's breathing quickened. He double checked and triple checked to make sure that he wasn't just seeing things. Nope, Connor had really sent a heart. Evan's mind raced with reasons, because he didn't want to settle for wishful thinking and disappointment.

***

"Evan, Hot Topic won't get off of me!" Evan didn't know why Jared was at Connor's house or why Connor was supposedly on top of Jared, but that's what he heard when he walked into the house. Evan turned a corner and walked into something he would never forget.

Jared was lying on the floor with Connor sitting on him, hands being pinned to the ground so that he couldn't fight back. (that doesn't even make sense Sea you idiot) Evan didn't know why, but he didn't like it. He frowned.

"Get off of Jared," Evan said, his voice monotone. "I- um... I mean.... w-what's going on?" Connor looked at him with a strange concern and stood up.

"My parents aren't home (they laundered money now they're on the run) so we're having a fucking sleepover and ZOE GET YOUR ASS DOWN HERE!" Evan sat on the floor next to Jared.

After a minute of Connor looking annoyed, probably at Zoe's lack of being there, he screamed. Again. "Zoe I'm coming upstairs, asshole!" He ran upstairs.

"So, um, w-what do you think of h – Connor?" Evan asked Jared.

"He's- ." (I apologize for what's about to happen)

They heard shouting from upstairs. "Guys?" Connor called from upstairs. "Get the fuck up here!" (Heere)

Evan and Jared ran upstairs to find Connor standing upstairs, crying with Zoe in his arms. On the sleeve of his grey jacket was blood. (I am very sorry) "C-Connor, w-w-what's going on?" Evan asked. Zoe pulled away from the hug. Her jacket sleeve was rolled up.

Evan's eyes flashed from Zoe's bloody arm to the blood on Connor's sleeve.

In a small voice, Zoe could only say, "I'm sorry."

Good things about being a writer and having a significant other who is also a writer:

1. I can write about what it feels like to like people

2. We facetime and literally just sit there writing (that happens more than it probably should and we just don't talk for like an hour)

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