A Failed Overdose And A Chain Of Events [tree bros]

18 - The Missing Kid Found Passed Out in the Park

TW: Anxiety attack, suicidal thoughts, suicide

I almost cried while writing this and the only reason I didn't was because my girlfriend was talking to me and I don't like crying in front of people, so have fun.

Evan liked trees. In the early morning hours, when he needed to get away from his house? He loved them. Something, anything to get him away from his anxiety immediately became his favorite thing in the world. That's why he was at the orchard at 12 am on a Friday.

***

Connor never knew how haunting memories could really be until he did it all over again. He never knew how damaging words were or how terrifying a simple thought could be.

Connor had run away from home before. He knew how to handle himself. His parents always found him, at first. Even when they stopped looking, he always planned on coming back. But now that he had no refuge, no safety, Connor had the most crushing realization. He had absolutely nothing left.

Evan didn't love him; Evan couldn't love him. It was almost in a peaceful way that Connor realized that all the odds were against him.

Connor hadn't cried, nor had he gotten angry. When Larry hit him, he felt no remorse for the family that he single handedly ripped apart.

Standing next to the tree Connor and Evan had climbed, the day Evan broke his arm, so long ago, Connor held the bottle of pills and held out hope that Zoe would go to his funeral and shed a tear or two. He hoped that maybe Evan could find a way to move on.

Connor downed the pills.

***

Evan checked his phone for text messages. Usually Connor replied right away if he mentioned anxiety. Connor usually responded immediately no matter what it was. He walked down the path, trying to clear his mind of any thoughts about things that might have happened to Connor that were... less desirable.

Evan knew he was near the same spot he let go of the tree branch, the same spot he gave Connor the rings. He had it on his finger. He twisted it on his finger when he had anxiety like he did at that time.

He spotted, against a tree, a person, sitting down. They looked like they were asleep. Evan walked closer to the tree. Connor. "C-Connor?" he said, standing over his boyfriend's body. He was breathing, even if the breaths were few and far between.

"Connor, Connor, wake up, wake up!" he said, speaking quickly and frantically shaking him. "Connor!" He laid his head on Connor's chest in one less panicked effort to... to be happy. "Please?" he said, wishing as hard as he could.

Of course, hope doesn't do much in the real world, does it? Evan fumbled with his phone, barely able to keep his eyes off of his dead – no, unconscious – boyfriend.

He called 911, because what else could he do? He called Zoe, too, once he got off the phone with the 911 operator. She didn't answer, so he left a message. "Zoe, Connor's... he tried to... to kill himself." He ended the voicemail as he started to cry.

I would come up with something funny, but that feels like super disrespectful to the subject matter.

Also:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline - 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Textline (US) - 741741

Crisis Textline (Canada) - 686868

Also This Thing Exists - https://www.crisistextline.org/referrals

I figured in a chapter like this, those would probably apply. I've wanted to put them in multiple things, but I didn't know if it would really make sense.

~ Sea

You know it's a chapter with heavy subject matter when you put suicide resources in the author's notes.