Secret Shifter

Part 5

'Yes.' I didn't know what I was saying until I said it. Part of me didn't want to leave because it would pain me to be apart from my Mate. This Mate bond was getting stronger by the minute and his constant lingering wasn't helping.

Since I had said yes, three days had passed and I had time to fully recover. We talked, more like Derek talked and i nodded and answered simply. He asked about my eyes and i told him they change depending on my mood, it was strange and i know he wanted to ask. But after his declaration i felt that he didnt want to second guess his word. I was relieved he didnt ask too many questions, this was all new to me and i needed to move at my own pace.

'Are you feeling better?' Derek asked once more, he had just walked in the door, and I sat in the living room, staring off into space.

'Again, yes!' He had asked me that about 42 times in the last three days. I had become a little better at conversation, although a few times he had looked at my replies with a confused look. When I asked him what I had said wrong, he simply laughed and shrugged it off.

'Sorry, I'm just concerned.' He had just returned after working with the pack all day. Something about organising members to train the Pups and weekly rosters for territory checks.

'Derek,' I called his name as he made his way upstairs. It stopped him dead in his tracks, I knew he liked it when I said his name, it was very rarely that I did. He looked at me, his eyes a shade darker, his reaction to me saying his name. It seems weird to a normal human but not having physical contact of your Mate, which I have not provided him, makes you find the simple things about them more attractive.

'Yes Kat?' My stomach flipped at the use of my name from his lips, he was playing a dangerous game. 

'There is something that I need to discus with you.' I kept my voice formal for that's how I needed to approach the subject, that and my conversation was quite 'stiff,' as Derek had put it, since finally talking again.

Taking a step back down the stairs he chuckled, 'You know that basically translates to 'We need to talk,' right?' I stared back at him not understanding.

'Sorry, I guess you wouldn't know what that means,' he sheepishly admits which only makes him look more attractive as he runs his fingers through his hair.

'Suppose not,' I couldn't help but feel frustrated at my own incompentance.

'So what's up?' He closed the distance between us in three strides and sat on the coffee table right in front of me. He rested his forearms on his knees and i noticed the muscles in his arms flex. I knew what he was trying to do, and i wasnt playing into it. 

'Its about us.' I didn't want to be dishonest and I cared too much to let him get caught in my troubles blindly, i needed to inform him about my hesitance. 

Derek couldn't help but laugh, 'So it is a 'We need to talk,' talk.' But I still didn't get it, 'Ok, serious now.' He seemed just like a carefree adult, with his lopsided grin and, wait! Snap out of it!

'I am glad I finally found my mate,' a smile spread across my lips and Derek matched it with his own, 'But...'

He furrowed his brows, 'But's are never good.'

I continued, hating his pained expression, 'But. I don't want to fall in love with you-'

'Please don't say that, I mean I know we don't know each other yet but your my Mate, so I want to make this work,' he cut me off and his husky voice took on an edgy rasp as he looked for the right words to make me change my mind. 

A look of determination shaped his features and he looked strikingly handsome in that instant, not that he doesn't generally, but you get the point. 'Exactly.'

'Wait, what!?' He seemed confused and so I continued.

'You are my Mate and it's because of that, that I don't want to fall in love with you.' Again he was going to cut me off but I spoke before he could.

'Our Mate bond is strong and so that will always bring us together, but I don't want to fall in love with you because biology tells us we should.'

He was nodding like he understood but didnt say a word. He waited for me to continue.

'I want to be able to love my Mate not because of biology but because of chemistry. I want to know who you are, really. I want to know what makes you the strong dependable Alpha, and your weaknesses. I hope that makes sense.' My eyes pleading he understood where I was coming from.

Derek sighed but I couldn't tell whether it was in resignation or relief. I was becoming anxious with every passing second and I was shifting my weight and biting my lower lip.

His eyes met mine then and fell on my lips, 'Please don't distract me with your lips.' I could see his eyes turning darker before meeting my gaze once again.

I hesitantly stopped biting my lip, torturing him a little by this little action and braced myself, I don't know what I would do if my Mate rejected me. 'So, you want to fall in love with me, not because we are Mates, but because you want to fall in love with the real me?'

I nodded cautiously. He closed the distance between us by wrapping his arms around my waist, pulling me in for an embrace. 'I thought I was the happiest when I first laid eyes on you, despite the condition you were in,' I eyed him, we had agreed not to speak of it again.

'But I realise that I'm the happiest right now. Why the Moon Goddess has blessed me with the most amazing Mate is beyond me, but I will never take you for granted.'

His words brushed against the top of my head and was husky, full of emotion. The words made my heart melt and for that moment I didn't care that our Mate bond sent crazy electric pulses through my body where he touched me, I gave in and wrapped my arms around his neck pulling him closer.