Born to die

Natalya's Postlude

"It's funny how quickly people disappear. One minute you see them in front of you but when you blink, they're gone.
I would say I miss Tatyana but the truth is, she was gone long before today. Tatyana left us when Kyoko did. From then on she was a living corpse. She changed drastically in a matter of days. Ezra always said it was clear that Tatyana was completely devoted to Khela, especially after her first mission, but it is clear to me now that her loyalties lay elsewhere and it was in fact Kyoko's dedication to Khela and her country that lead to Tatyana doing what she did in the name of the Soviet Union.
It took but a few seconds to erase Tatyana completely and leave nothing but a broken and speechless girl. And I regret it all.
I regret not doing more to prevent Ezra from learning about their relationship in the first place. I regret not talking to Kyoko about the importance of hiding their relationship. But most of all, I regret not standing up to Ezra before Kyoko's death. I wish I could have just said no when he suggested killing Kyoko anyway. But I was so caught up in not letting Tatyana die that I didn't realise that day killed Tatyana more than it did Kyoko.
I only spoke to Ezra once after that day and those words are the only things I am happy I cannot change.
-Flashback-
"I do not understand your problem Natalya, Tatyana is still alive!"
A book flew at Ezra's head and when he turned to face the blonde woman, he could see the anger radiating off her and saw herself preparing her voice for what she was about do.
"Is she though? Is she? She won't leave her room, she's not talking to anyone! She may as well be dead!"
"Natalya! You said you did not want to lose her as well and thanks to me you didn't. A thank you would be nice."
"We are going to lose her Ezra! She's going to die, we both know that. Barely anyone in this building will make it past 25 years old, especially her!"
"You think anyone has a chance of murdering her. She is the most well-trained child in the history of this company! For heavens sake, calm down!"
"No one is going to murder her Ezra. But you've been training her to die!"
"On the contrary, I've been training her to survive. And how exactly are we going to lose her if no one is going to kill her?"
"We will lose her to herself. She'll either run away or commit suicide!"
"Tatyana would never."
"Yes she would. You don't know jackshit about Tatyana because you've been so focused on the weapon you see her as."
"Now, now, I know you're mad but you know me. Don't try and act like I don't always have you and Tatyana's best interests at heart, Nat-."
"Don't you 'Nat' me. And get your hands off of me. If Kyoko was killed because she loved someone then you sure as hell don't get to pretend you do. You don't give a fuck about me or Tatyana."
"Natal-."
"No! I'm leaving. I hope you know I loved you."
"What do you mean 'loved'?"
"We're over. I don't who this man is but he sure isn't the one I fell in love with all these years ago. Goodbye Ezra."
-Flashback Ended-
I could have said so much more. There are so many things I could have said to that piece of shit. But no of them would have hurt me as much to say and I feel as though I deserve to feel just a quarter of the pain TT had to feel for almost a month.
Seeing Tatyana like this is so painful yet so relieving. She's more happy than I've seen her when she was not with Kyoko. This girl was the daughter I never had and boy am I thankful I found her.
I named her. I found her parents dead in an alleyway and brought her here on my way home from a mission. No one knew anything about her or her parents so Ezra told me I could name her. I wish I could have given her a last name now, so the world would have more to remember her by than just Tatyana. 
We stand here today in memory of two girls killed because of love. And they won't be remembered by their names, they will be remembered by their missions and the disobedience of their story.
So I will say their names.
Tatyana Zima; for she is my daughter in every way but biological, and Kyoko Knight, who was the only child here to remember her last name.
Say their names, not their faults."