Carnation (Hanahaki AU)

3

'I grew a flower that can't be bloomed in a dream that can't come true'

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"(Y/n), I like-"

You woke up with a coughing fit. His voice even haunted you in your dream. The flowers are blooming, planting their roots deeper into your flesh. Every breath that you take accompanied by sharp pain, causing your eyes to water. With your last effort, you managed to cough out a handful of carnation petals.

The petals fell gently on your blanket. Some are dyed in burgundy while some are dry and brown as if the flowers are gradually withered away. Just like your hope of getting your feelings returned by a certain boy.

At this rate, you might actually die because of the disease before you even manage to get your hero license. How depressing. 

(e/c) eyes glared at the petals. You want to yell at the boy, blaming him for your current state. To look at him in the eye and tell him to stop being kind to you, stop helping you when you need a hand with controlling your quirk - making you work harder for the perfect results that you always want and gain recognition.

To tell him, thank you for being your friend but you want it to be more than that.

You glanced at the clock on your nightstand, the red digit displaying made you realized that you have an extra two hours to prepare for school. Deciding to get ready and go to school early, you started to clean up. You threw the petals into the trash then covered them with a layer of tissues, an extra step to make sure your parents wouldn't find out. You aren't ready to tell them yet.

You actually considered telling your parents about the disease. However, will they be mad at you if they find out that you have the disease and not tell them sooner? Will they force you to go through surgery if they knew that the chance of your feelings getting returned is close to zero?

Of course, you think to yourself, your parents would feel devastated if they learn that their daughter is slowly dying because of a boy. You changed into your school uniform after finishing with your usual morning routine. The sunlight hit your face gently through the crack of your curtains. You stood still in your bedroom watching the sunrise and marveled the sight that you often missed in the morning. The sunrise was breathtaking.

You made up your mind. The least you could do is to try and confess, you know that it will take lots of courage but if it didn't work out well, then you can still get surgery before it's too late. That would be the most rational thing that anyone would do. You knew that you are scared of rejection but if you don't even try, the chance of him returning your feelings will definitely be zero. You feel better after your optimistic thoughts and left your bedroom to grab breakfast.

"Is everything going well at school?"

The concern laced in your mother's harmless question can be detected, even if she tried to hide it by pretending to read the newspaper. 

You sipped your tea that your mother prepared, "Yes, why do you ask?"

"You just look tired. Did you get enough sleep?"

"The exam is coming so I stay up late than usual." You finished your breakfast quickly, "I'm going now."

"Stay safe and have fun. Love you."

"Love you too."

You walked to school with determination, you will confess tomorrow. On the way, you spot a flower shop with brightly color flowers being displayed, you stop in front of the shop to inspect the flowers since you had time to spare. The sunlight shone through the clouds, and the sounds of children chatting while walking to school filled the street, everything fell into the usual routine. 

And at that moment, everything seems alright and there's nothing to worry about.

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'I wish love was perfect as love itself'

Fake Love, BTS