Irhaboggle Pride (2019) Spectrum

Healing

"So, I've been thinking a lot about that Hell-scape of yours," Lafontaine began awkwardly.

"So have I," Perry replied glumly. There was no more accusation in her voice, just a world-weariness.

"And I was thinking that... maybe I should start expanding beyond the two of us, you know? Get you some more helpers around the office? I mean, I know I should've done it ages ago, but I didn't want to, you know? And not because I didn't want to spare the expense! I just didn't think we needed it... I didn't want to need it. I wanted it just to be you and me! But, I realize now, that's not a very practical business model, heh."

Lafontaine and Perry's relationship had been on the rocks for a while now. Ever since the year Laura came to Silas, things had gone downhill for them. First, there was the fight about Lafontaine's transition. Then there was Perry's possession. Then there was the almost-apocalypse. In that last battle, Perry was un-possessed and Lafontaine lost an eye in the fight. But even after stopping the end of the world, the two were still unable to completely patch things over. They thought they had, but new problems eventually arose.

The pair created a company called Laferry Industries, but while Lafontaine spent all their time making crazy inventions in the labs, Perry was basically an office worker. She was delegated to do all the paperwork, day in and day out. For a while, it was a pretty good setup! But, as the years went on, Perry grew tired of it, especially since it meant that she and Lafontaine didn't really see each other anymore. But, just like back at Silas, Perry had no idea to confront Lafontaine, so she didn't.

But even though Perry had no idea how to address the issue, someone else did. It was a surprising individual, and the method was rather... sadistic, but it did still technically get the job done. Carmilla's vengeful ghost-girl ex had tried to trap them all in various Hell-scapes and Perry's was being stuck in that office forever. It was almost laughable, but even after that vengeful ex had been sent peacefully to the grave, the visions of the Hell-scape still refused to leave Perry and Lafontaine.

Now at last, the wounds Perry had been trying to address for so very long were starting to be healed. As Lafontaine expressed compassion for Perry's plight, apologizing for their shortsightedness and promising to be more accommodating in the future, Perry finally felt noticed, and that was all she'd ever wanted. Her Hell-scape had been nothing but a symbol for how ignored she'd felt.

"It's not that the paperwork was too difficult," she told Lafontaine. "It was that, since I was always stuck in the office and you were always cooped up in the lab, we never got to see each other! But... it's Laferry Industries! It's something we built together! I liked getting to work with you, and... it kind of... made me sad, when we stopped." Perry twiddled her thumbs. It felt so strange to open up to Lafontaine like this, after so many years of silence and denial. But that thought only made Perry even sadder.

Lafontaine had been her friend since they were very little. For all of these decades, they'd been side by side! A package duo! So think they'd ever reached a point in their relationship where they no longer felt able to open up to one another was truly a tragedy. It was just another symptom in a long list of others that had all stemmed from their initial refusal to talk things out, all those years ago. Now, Perry felt slightly bad for bringing it all back up again, but if silence was what had gotten them so down to begin with, perhaps speaking was the solution? Even if it was hard and embarrassing. But, to be fair, the healing process was never an easy one.

"You're right," Lafontaine said passionately, reaching out to take Perry's hand. "I was being selfish without even realizing it. I thought everything was totally fine, so I kept on cutting you down every time you tried to come to me to explain that it wasn't! But that was wrong of me. You deserve more helping hands so that we can see each other again. Like you said, this is our company, not just mine."

But healing was a two-way street. Even though Perry's problems opened the talk, Lafontaine eventually began to talk about their own.

"Like I said, part of the reason I didn't hire help earlier on was because I wanted to believe that you and I would be enough! I mean, I know now how stupid that was, but... I think it was just... possessiveness, strange as that sounds."

"Over what? The company?" Perry was genuinely confused. "They would've been our workers, they wouldn't have taken anything from us."

"Not the company," Lafontaine said quickly. "You."

"Me?!" Perry blinked. That was unexpected.

"Yes. You." Lafontaine gave Perry a sad smile. "Call me crazy, but initially, I didn't want to hire anyone else because I literally just wanted it to be you and me. I didn't want anyone else, just us. I didn't want anyone else working with you, I didn't want anyone else working with me, I didn't want anyone else touching our company, I wanted it to belong completely and solely to us. I just... You're the biggest thing in my world..."

By the end of their confession, Lafontaine was whispering. Calling back to the days when Perry was still possessed, they admitted that at the heart of their issues lay fear, insecurity, envy and guilt. They'd already almost lost Perry once. They never wanted to go through it again. But they didn't just want to keep Perry safe, and with them. They wanted Perry all to themself. It was the tragic, deadly combination of fear and love.

As Lafontaine finally swung around to this side of the story, Perry felt ready to come clean as well.

"If you remember back at Silas, when I wasn't accepting of your new gender identity, it was because I didn't want things to change between us. I... didn't want to lose you either. Ironically enough, we wanted the same thing, but we approached it from totally opposite sides! I... was worried that if I accepted your status as nonbinary, that would somehow change our relationship. Or that you'd go so deep into gender exploration that you'd... forget about me... It sounds so silly now, but..." Perry looked embarrassed as she admitted all of this, but she kept going, nonetheless.

"I was never as smart as you, and I was always much slower. I'm so sorry if that slowness controlled what I said to you, and how you thought of me. I never meant to hurt you, but I was scared, just like you. I know I have no right to tell you how to live any part of your life, but you don't exist in a vacuum. Although it's within your right to identify as you wish, any change you make will affect me too. That's not to say you need to consider me, or that I was right, because neither of those things are true, that's just... how my train of thought ran... for lack of better words."

So, all along, the two had been dealing with similar doubts and insecurities. Even if it manifested differently, it ultimately boiled down to the fact that each person was terrified of losing the other, whether physically or socially.

"Oh, Perry!" Lafontaine gasped. "I never meant to make you feel that way!"

"I never meant to make you feel bad either," Perry replied, tears pricking her eyes. "It seems like we were both at fault somewhere, huh?"

At last, the two finally realized that they still had old wounds they needed to tend to. Some wounds had festered for years while others were fairly new, but either way, both of them were finally aware of the scars. That awareness was the first step in the healing process, and now, maybe this time, their old scars and wounds would heal up correctly.

"There's only one way to find out," Lafontaine murmured as they took Perry's hand and held it tight.

"And that's to try!" Perry replied, and for the first time in a very, very, long time, they shared a smile and a kiss.

AN: I love Laferry and I honestly wish it had been more integral to the plot. I know why it wasn't, but it just felt like the development they TRIED to give wasn't very good. Like, they got nothing until the climax, and then it felt forced and rushed and underwhelming.

I would've preferred if they had been on the same page from the get-go, continuing their character arc from the end of the webseries and acting as a good foil for Laura and Carmilla, who were nowhere near as stable in their own relationship. But instead, they reverted back to their S1-type bickering and we got yet another Laferry fighting subplot. I know it was for the drama, but it felt kind of... wrong. Like, it retconned the ending of S3 and was kind of cliché and overused by the time the movie rolled around.