Finding Promise (WATTYS 2017)

Drugged and nothing to do

My mothers death happened happened fourteen years ago yet I still carry the consequence of allegedly being the cause of her death. Now stuck in a place that I can't escape...the abuse of my father.

The dark blue of my rooms wall doesn't help me, it's like a dark sea of depression threatening too swallow me whole to drag me more underneath its dark murky waters, filling my lungs with its salty liquid, stinging my eyes as I slide deeper and deeper to the bottom.

" Hannah, you stupid bitch get your ass down here!"

I shivered at the sound of his call no doubt it was just a reason to hit me. " I'm coming dad."I called walking downstairs. The carpet felt gross and grummy under my feet. When I reached downstairs I could tell that I had taken to long from his perspective.

He was glaring at me like a mad man, his hands clinched in a fist so tight his knuckles were white even though he was black just like me. "I need beer."he spat at me. I didn't really think that he needed any beer right now, but if I didn't give him that he would turn to cocaine which will be even worse. But still I was too young to buy beer.

" Dad I'm too young to buy beer." I told him this calmly. But he blew it way out of proportion.

Now his nostrils were flaring, he was breathing hard, and now his knuckles were shaking I took a step back but he bid more closer wagging his finger at me. I took cautious steps the closer I got the more frantically he waged his finger. When I got close enough he beat me, the worst part was he enjoyed it. Smiling with every punch and kick. I had became a human punching bag.

A series of kicks and punches were launched at me as I lay clenching my self on the floor. When it was over he yelled" Now go clean yourself up" as I ran upstairs I heard him shout behind me" maybe next time you'll listen!"

I ran to my room crying telling myself that he said he was sorry the way he did on the first attack, while also crying thinking how could he do this if he loves me. I looked in the mirror,from the the looks of it I have a black eye, bloody nose, three bruises on my back and a quenching pain in my stomach. I had to apply two layers of foundation to a bruise below my mouth that I hadn't noticed before, there was nothing I could do about the black eye which seeped through the foundation.

When I went back downstairs dad had the money ready. I was just thinking grab it, make no eye contact and run out the door as if your life was in danger. The first two steps worked but the third didn't happen like I expected it.

I was just about to walk out the door when he grabbed my arm and whispered in my ear" If you ever disrespect me again I will kill you." I gasped when his grip became tighter until it released me. Feeling relief from his hold I darted out the door running for dear life. "Did he actually threaten my life should I be afraid?" I thought.

"No he wouldn't do that!" I screamed at myself  refusing to give in to such a thought.

****

I wonder what kind of beer he drinks, what am I talking about he'll drink anything that had liquor on the label. I guess it's up to you Bud light. I picked the pack of cold liquid causing my fingers to go numb. My dad is such an alcoholic,a drug and liquor infested junkie. But I he's still my dad.

"ID please." The clerk demanded. Why wasn't he looking at me, what was he looking at? I followed his gaze.

Ooh my god the first five buttons of my blouse were unbuttoned! I quickly buttoned up my blouse. I glared at him when he came back to reality, reaching in my pocket to get my fake ID. Ding.

  Officer Sherman had just walked in, I stuffed ID into my pocket his attention now focused on me. The clerk had disappeared, I was all alone with the officer. I trembled under his gaze, he was glaring at me like a mad racoon with rabies. He was a tall, bald, masculine man with a base temper.