Clouds of Thought

Dereft of Life

Why such loud words,

 why yell at me?

Why such hard hits,

 why knock me to my knees?

Why such cruel eyes,

 why look at me that way?

Why such whispers,

 why were you never there those days?

I needed help.

 you saw that.

But when i'd beg,

 you'd stay back.

Later on,

 when it's seemingly all fine.

You come around,

 trying to claim the trust of mine.

Though how dare you,

 you lousy prat.

You were never there,

 I can't ever forgive that.

Family and friends,

 aren't they supposed to help?

Not sit around and laugh,

 at my hand that was dealt?

Years and years,

 of physical and mental abuse,

Took it's toll,

 now I'm thinking of the noose.

I smirk as thoughts,

  creep into my head,

 Thoughts of what,

  I should do instead.

Why leave now,

when there's a debt you owe.

And now is the time,

 to pay up, not sink low.

My thoughts vary,

 thinking of multiple ways,

To get my share,

 of your deserved pain.

I desire to see you,

 bloody and pale,

The life gone out of you,

 dead as a nail.

To see you there,

 dereft of life,

Is what i yearn to see,

 as my grip tightens on the knife.

Soon i whisper,

 to my insane self,

Soon you'll be dead,

 and I'll be happy by myself.